tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32485590490490739092024-03-12T18:49:45.707-07:00Focusing on JesusSmall Groups, Youth Ministry, and More...Sean Buonohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15285394185026509474noreply@blogger.comBlogger113125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248559049049073909.post-39908259140131498932022-06-11T10:18:00.000-07:002022-06-11T10:18:00.138-07:00Nurturing the Small Group Soil of the Church<p style="text-align: center;"> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg21gBbC1luJcYwc48yA_CG8iaz7u3UUfXgy_j7E-Mr3Nhqxmnyy_PpNgdHpHezCsBPkkKnEgf6SsBe3iUzGGRwIzKTklWr3h-PjeBZDS3jECwWOeoHHIhv0aSQzbDbbhll3mPYczwCkVT3yJUmwrVwoNf6oMSJK0BRcSES0leI7r9i89iBn3_3DWLd/s3000/evie-s-zn4Pl32WgWM-unsplash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3000" data-original-width="3000" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg21gBbC1luJcYwc48yA_CG8iaz7u3UUfXgy_j7E-Mr3Nhqxmnyy_PpNgdHpHezCsBPkkKnEgf6SsBe3iUzGGRwIzKTklWr3h-PjeBZDS3jECwWOeoHHIhv0aSQzbDbbhll3mPYczwCkVT3yJUmwrVwoNf6oMSJK0BRcSES0leI7r9i89iBn3_3DWLd/s320/evie-s-zn4Pl32WgWM-unsplash.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>This week's article will be the end of our series on <i>The Other Half of Church</i>, a book written by Jim Wilder and Michael Hendricks which explores how brain science is key to understanding our relational and spiritual growth. Since late 2021, our discussion on the brain science of relationships and
small groups has been enlightening (<i><span class="MsoHyperlink"><a href="https://www.seanbuono.com/2021/10/the-brain-and-small-groups.html">click here</a></span> to navigate to the first article within the series)</i>. I hope that you have found the experience
as memorable as I have and I sincerely thank you for joining me for the
journey! This final article will summarize and expand upon a few last points to help grow our small group ministries. Based on the guidance
provided within the book <i>The Other Half</i>, let us explore three vital
concepts that can be extracted from their text and why they are important.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>Staying Small While Growing Big</u></b><br />
To create a relational environment that fosters transformation, Wilder and
Hendricks encourage pastors and other leaders to be laser-focused and to stay
small. Yet they also say in their text that a “Full-brained church must become
more decentralized” with distributed responsibilities. They say that when this
occurs, “the community functions like an interdependent network of equals—like
a family.” But how do we reconcile the concept of “staying small” with a
concept that aims to spread involvement and leadership among a wider population
of individuals? Perhaps another way of asking would be, what does it mean for a small group ministry to stay small while it also has
growth among its leaders? <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">A small group ministry focused on transformation succeeds in
this. First, Wilder and Hendricks recommend for pastors to be a bit vulnerable
and to openly share some of their own weaknesses in areas where they feel
underqualified. When congregants hear that their pastor isn’t “the guy”/”the gal”
who has all of the answers (and that it’s okay that they don’t), it can spark
more opportunities for the Holy Spirit to encourage and motivate an individual
to step forward and to contribute to the church’s mission and vision. Next, rather
than being left to figure out ministry on their own, newer leaders are given
“on-the-job training” by the church so that they remain properly equipped. In
such a model, leadership becomes comfortable with messiness. Rather than
expecting newer group leaders to have their own perfected knowledge and doctrine, more trust
is handed to these up-and-coming lay leaders of the congregation as Pauline-like
training is given to them while they continue to serve. Finally, an increase of leaders brings with it more groups. As churchgoers have more options to choose from, larger class-like sizes of groups need not be used as often, and the smaller, more intimate groups slowly become more favored.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>Nurture the Soil of the Church<br />
</u></b>While we previously spoke on <a href="https://www.seanbuono.com/2022/01/the-relational-joy-of-small-groups.html" target="_blank">the importance of joy within the small group ministry</a>, one unexplored element on the topic is the ability of "joy" to act as
a healing agent. For those who possess what Wilder and Hendricks refer to as good "relational brain skills,” building joy can help an individual work more easily
through trauma recovery. They elaborate, explaining that “joy does not remove
our pain, but it gives us the strength to endure…‘joy in suffering’ means that
God and our community are glad to be with us in our distress. They do not allow
us to suffer alone.” Oftentimes at convenience stores there is a “Give-a-Penny
/ Take-A-Penny” dish next to the cash register. When a deduction is made from
our wallets that is slightly more than what we have, the cashier is
able to take a small amount of change from the dish to reconcile their register
so that it remains balanced. Similarly, when events occur in
our lives that cause stress and/or our joy to become imbalanced, we
can tap into the relational joy that is overflowing from the others who are around us. Keeping such a communal perspective prevents the relational
soil of the church from becoming dangerously depleted (a state of “half-brained
Christianity” where spiritual formation is prevented from thriving and where the
influence of <a href="https://www.seanbuono.com/2022/05/the-dangers-of-relational-narcissism.html" target="_blank">narcissistic individuals</a> are allowed to grow).<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>Don’t Leave it to Chance<br />
</u></b>The final point from Hendricks and
Wilder’s book that we will apply to small group ministry is that a “full-brained church” ensures that each person is
placed on a path that seeks out constant growth in their spiritual maturity.
They press their readers to have intentionality, declaring that to “leave
maturity to chance is a fatal error in leadership.” Arguably, leaving small
group spiritual growth up to chance is just as fatal of an error. Similar to
how a church plant requires intentional effort, extensive planning, and
exhaustive work, the elements of an effective small group ministry require a comparable scope of effort. In other words, any substantial transformation within
a small group ministry cannot occur until the leadership is ready to couch its
small group ministry within a relational-driven project plan that is fully integrated within the church’s respective mission and vision. </p><p class="MsoNormal">In previous decades, appealing to the intellectual
and logical sides of our faith was a rather effective method to stimulate growth. Today, however, these same tactics are no longer as effective. Rather, we are called to pursue new strategies that stand up to (and push
back against) the newest methods that the evil one has been implementing within
the modern culture. Such strategies that we require now must involve
the engagement of the heart, the nurture and care of the relationships within
our lives, and the respectful acknowledgment of the influence that our
right-brain holds over the key spiritual areas of our lives. To speak rather fittingly
to this, I leave us with a quote from Leonard Ravenhill who said, “the world is
not waiting for a new definition of the Gospel, but for a new demonstration of
the power of the Gospel.” Let us be intentional for a relationship-driven approach
to our small group ministries. Let us give thanks to the Lord and make way for
the Holy Spirit to empower us to continue spreading the Gospel through a right-brained relational approach.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p><br /><p></p>Sean Buonohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15285394185026509474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248559049049073909.post-7045637389932711022022-05-13T00:04:00.002-07:002023-07-11T23:34:25.312-07:00The Dangers of Relational Narcissism<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl06fUg9et_shx6ZnZejGUV40XTXrCa0fSMwnU8ecvqo4iJb9U2bAlZ2p2Qn5KHM2taP4rCwXZzisjn3ltIBjnYSEpecofkyWrhOKamJCjar_usbVG5NITPYqUyntcV3NcYJMZOH_vScrM2Ar8XeXiWDeE5VeLoI4cU-YTYSRrRk5Kj4IWiimFT7th/s5205/sekatsky-OwR9cyMNe4c-unsplash.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3470" data-original-width="5205" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl06fUg9et_shx6ZnZejGUV40XTXrCa0fSMwnU8ecvqo4iJb9U2bAlZ2p2Qn5KHM2taP4rCwXZzisjn3ltIBjnYSEpecofkyWrhOKamJCjar_usbVG5NITPYqUyntcV3NcYJMZOH_vScrM2Ar8XeXiWDeE5VeLoI4cU-YTYSRrRk5Kj4IWiimFT7th/s320/sekatsky-OwR9cyMNe4c-unsplash.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p><i>To catch up on the earlier articles that explore small
groups through the book The Other Half of Church by Jim Wilder and Michel
Hendricks, <span class="MsoHyperlink"><a href="https://www.seanbuono.com/2021/10/the-brain-and-small-groups.html" target="_blank">click here</a></span> to navigate to the first article within the series.</i></p><p>
</p><p class="MsoNormal">Have you ever been a part of a small group where an
individual aggressively dominated the conversation in a manner that made you or
others uncomfortable? Did such a person cause you to reconsider attending one
of the meetings or possibly even the rest of the group meetings, altogether? What
if there was a way to protect the group from narcissism but also rebuild and
empower those who have a tendency to exhibit narcissistic behaviors? Authors Jim
Wilder and Michel Hendricks and their book <i>The Other Half of Church</i> can
help as they outline some strategies that help to equip us in addressing this
type of character dysfunction. Let us view their perspective through the lens
of a church’s small group ministry.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>Relational Narcissism</u></b><br />
While the Webster’s dictionary definition of narcissism is egocentrism or love
of one’s body, Wilder and Hendricks offer a different perspective of the
character dysfunction from a relational perspective. Here, they offer a
description where a narcissist is “someone who is unable to metabolize shame in
a relational way…they lack empathy, have a strong need for admiration, and want
to be the biggest personality in the room.” Perhaps this description fits the previously
mentioned person who aggressively dominates the conversation in a small group. Or
perhaps there could be a quieter member of the group who directs their narcissism
more towards individuals who can be used to achieve a certain goal. Regardless
of how an individual exhibits narcissism, our authors explain that ongoing relationships
are one of the best tools that a church can use to address this challenging
behavior. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Previously, we explored <a href="https://www.seanbuono.com/2022/03/the-transformational-love-of-healthy.html" target="_blank">what toxic and healthy shame are</a> and the importance of
nurturing a culture where healthy correction was utilized within the small
group community. It is through this perspective that Wilder and Hendricks
interpret narcissism to be a “shame disease” at its core. They explain that
when we learn to think that all shame is “toxic shame,” we resort to
non-relational strategies (such as retreating, silence, hostility,
self-righteousness, blame, etc.) in order to justify ourselves and to avoid any
further shame from exposing us. And when narcissism is given an opportunity to
be expressed, it grows to breed more narcissism among others within the church
as the “relational soil” of the community is slowly depleted. It is here where
we begin to witness all of the previous articles in this series converging to
form a holistic framework, one that proposes a church’s small group ministry to
be the most effective vehicle for facilitating healthy and transformational relationships
within our communities.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>Resisting Enemy Mode<br />
</u></b>Even if we ourselves are not being overtly narcissistic, we still must
take caution in how we actively perceive the other members of our small groups and
our fellow churchgoers. Jesus says in Matthew 12:34 that “Out of the abundance
of the heart, the mouth speaks.” If we are not actively pursuing the Lord in
our own spiritual lives, then how might we view our brothers and sisters in
Christ when they don’t express love to us first? When our “relational circuits”
are running as they were intended by God, we are operating in what Wilder and
Hendricks refer to as “Relational Mode.” However, when we are unable to share
in the pain of others or unable to spread <i>hesed</i> love and joy among others, we are in a brain
state that Wilder and Hendricks refer to as “Enemy Mode.”<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">While “Predatory Enemy Mode” is the more extreme expression
of intentional hostility that blatantly uses other people for personal gain, “Simple
Enemy Mode” is the more elusive state of the heart that interferes with our ability
to connect with others and prevents us to view them as anything other than
problems to be solved or avoided. It is this mode that we must especially be wary
of. If not noticed, Simple Enemy Mode could convince us to skip small group
because we don’t want to listen to that one member of the group exhibiting
narcissistic behavior, or it may even prevent us from wanting to join a small group
altogether if we are not in a state of the heart that desires to minister to
other individuals. When in Simple Enemy Mode, we tend to judge others’
intentions and argue aggressively in an effort to have them adopt our viewpoint
(hardly helpful if trying to contribute to a welcoming small group environment).
While it is difficult to know what exactly causes us to find our way into Enemy
Mode, what is exciting is to know is that attending a small group is what
allows us to break away from this mode of thought. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>A Culture of Correction<br />
</u></b>When we regularly attend small groups, we are able to keep our
relational tanks full. It is here when Wilder and Hendricks note that “in
order to love my enemy, I must have sufficient joy and love so it overflows to
others.” In other words, when each of our small groups embody a community of
joy, <i>hesed</i> love, group identity, and healthy correction, it corrects narcissistic
behavior within group members by training the other group members to love on each
other in such a powerful way that narcissistic individuals become completely
disarmed. Wilder and Hendricks add that when a community as a whole is trained
up to love on these individuals without giving them a free pass for their
dysfunction, a culture of correction is established that “lowers the intensity
of shame because everyone has their character corrected” on a frequent basis.
After all, Jesus exhibited this strategy perfectly, most notably in how He unashamedly
corrects Peter in Matthew 16:23 but also lovingly redeems him in John 21:15-19
(only to then once again correct him a few verses later). In Christ-like fashion,
let us develop the capacity to love difficult people so that we prevent
narcissism from growing within our respective communities. Let us recognize
small groups as the ideal way to challenge us appropriately so that we may be
able to facilitate spiritual transformation in a powerful way. Through our
small groups, let us uplift one another and encourage one other to be humble
servants for the kingdom of God as we bless one another abundantly.<o:p></o:p></p><br /><p></p>Sean Buonohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15285394185026509474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248559049049073909.post-20650353824020414842022-03-17T23:10:00.000-07:002022-03-17T23:10:03.915-07:00The Transformational Love of Healthy Correction<p></p><div style="text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjVaQL05-HJJyNelMoyO3KhzDFHSf4ileaCdsikNmipoRyc2vFP2_AHu4wsUN9sagbbSlBwaNTUSlsbvzMoCYC24cZrYvGYD11etS_dicf4QrDJ-mqAjYHAP7pfgQVDh0ICjEyzoHCgT52HOcdeSpckcn0E_eA2RbkffQ2ZjQR0zMajDRMucyqyR9BN=s5184" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3888" data-original-width="5184" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjVaQL05-HJJyNelMoyO3KhzDFHSf4ileaCdsikNmipoRyc2vFP2_AHu4wsUN9sagbbSlBwaNTUSlsbvzMoCYC24cZrYvGYD11etS_dicf4QrDJ-mqAjYHAP7pfgQVDh0ICjEyzoHCgT52HOcdeSpckcn0E_eA2RbkffQ2ZjQR0zMajDRMucyqyR9BN=s320" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><i>To catch up on the earlier articles that explore small
groups through the book The Other Half of Church by Jim Wilder and Michel
Hendricks, <span class="MsoHyperlink"><a href="https://www.seanbuono.com/2021/10/the-brain-and-small-groups.html">click
here</a></span> to navigate to the first article within the series.</i></p><p class="MsoNormal">For an individual who has not been a part of a small group
before, signing up for one can be a huge decision. If we place ourselves in their
shoes, maybe we would find ourselves unsure as to if we will be able to easily
make friends. Perhaps we would be wondering as to if the other members of the
small group will accept us for who we are. But there also may be a more subtle concern
that is not so easily identified, such as the concern of admitting that we need
to change unhealthy behaviors or habits in our lives. Jim Wilder and Michel
Hendricks in their book <i>The Other Half of Church</i> can provide guidance within
this particular area, explaining that “healthy correction” can be one of the
best tools available to help us maintain our identity in Christ within a <i>hesed</i>
community.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>The Clash of Old and New Values</u></b> <br />
While it certainly would be ideal for an individual to improve upon their daily
habits so that they can engage and care more for their family and friends,
easing a person into such change can seem daunting at first. The good news is
that the input received from an individual’s small group can help. According to
Wilder and Hendricks, they define “character” to be what “lies at the intersection
of identity and values…it is the combination of our known responses (what
people have done in the past) and our values (what our people prefer to do).”
They elaborate further, explaining that our character is “a collection of
observed responses to various life situations that is quickly filtered through
the options that my people value.” For small groups, this can mean that we learn
from the values and behaviors of our fellow small group members. From here, we
compare these observations against the values and behaviors that we have
previously learned. If our established responses and beliefs are different from
the members of the Christian community that we’ve chosen to be a part of, then
there is a clash in values and we are confronted with a choice of what to do
next.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>Changing Our Values through Small Groups<br />
</u></b>When such a “clash” happens, how do we increase the chances for the more
Christ-like response to be chosen? Wilder and Hendricks state that “in order
to improve our behavior, we need to change our values and update our stored
examples of how our people act. We cannot change our values directly. We must
get them from our community, our group identity.” They explain further that
instead of us trying to change a person’s character by moral truth and choices,
it is more impactful for the person to be a part of a community that is
composed of mature individuals who can share their life experiences and provide
deeper insights into Christ-like living.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">A church small group can best describe this type of community
for three reasons. First, when groups are tapped into the overarching mission
of their local church, the Lord is invited to be a part of the process. Whether it is to explore a curriculum, to host
a kingdom-building activity, or to lead a prayer meeting, Christ is indeed in
their midst and the Holy Spirit is actively engaging their hearts (Matt 18:20).
Second, small groups provide the consistency needed in order for group members
to check up on one another and provide accountability to one another. If a
group meets only once a month or once a quarter, then sinful habits may not be challenged
often enough for transformation to take effect. Third, small groups that
consistently meet are living life together. As individuals spend more time with
one another, various life events are witnessed within the group; individuals not
only have a supportive community rallying behind them during a tough season,
but they also have previous examples to glean wisdom from when other group
members find themselves in similar scenarios. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>The Necessity of Healthy Shame<br />
</u></b>For small group ministries that pursue a path of intentional growth, attendees
will likely be challenged to repent from some of their habits or behaviors. When
group members realize that their actions do not align with their Christian
identity, this can generate a degree of shame within their hearts. While this
may not sound like an ideal outcome, it can in fact be a good thing when it is processed
in a positive way. Wilder and Hendricks argue that shame is not only important
for socialization, but in fact “necessary for character to change.” <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">But how should a small group respond to shame when it arises?
On the one hand, they could respond by exhibiting what Wilder and Hendricks
refer to as “toxic shame” (a message that leaves us alone in our shame and communicates
one’s “badness” without any offer of grace). On the other hand, the small group
could respond by exhibiting what the two authors refer to as “healthy shame.” Allowing
individuals to stay connected, healthy shame “affirms the relationship above
the problem” and is a method of communication that lovingly reminds one another
of who they are within the group identity of their <i>hesed</i> community. <o:p></o:p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal">It is here where this type of healthy correction will
sustain a church community and where it will allow relationships to thrive
within a small group ministry. Next week we will unpack further what occurs to
our small group ministries when we do not pursue these practices. But for now, let
us take a moment to pause and reflect upon our teaching of healthy correction
in our communities: Are we uplifting one another within our <i>hesed</i>
community in such a way that healthy shame can be utilized to help facilitate
transformation within our small groups? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></p><br /><p></p>Sean Buonohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15285394185026509474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248559049049073909.post-86850925685940773352022-02-25T00:18:00.002-08:002022-03-13T12:15:40.250-07:00The Encouraging Sway of Group Identity<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhk85aYVKTTS_LHK2jZEm40b0el4eLSEQdyd0Sjg2tQYD0bXu5wEzfPsTksAwshIbSj_6oFz_Hit4w9MjwMPOiOU0FUp-7w6uWjXwKH_wg71Fkms8oz8nesAa0moya_S3Zrge7-VhaPIdk8vEv0kNr4sqrf_mY5QDo1uaP_eg-kCRkwSDLIXZm0gN2B=s6000" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4000" data-original-width="6000" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhk85aYVKTTS_LHK2jZEm40b0el4eLSEQdyd0Sjg2tQYD0bXu5wEzfPsTksAwshIbSj_6oFz_Hit4w9MjwMPOiOU0FUp-7w6uWjXwKH_wg71Fkms8oz8nesAa0moya_S3Zrge7-VhaPIdk8vEv0kNr4sqrf_mY5QDo1uaP_eg-kCRkwSDLIXZm0gN2B=s320" width="320" /></a></div> <br /><p></p><p><i>To catch up on the earlier articles that explore small
groups through the book The Other Half of Church by Jim Wilder and Michel
Hendricks, <span class="MsoHyperlink"><a href="https://www.seanbuono.com/2021/10/the-brain-and-small-groups.html">click
here</a></span> to navigate to the first article within the series.</i></p><p>
</p><p class="MsoNormal">Acclaimed by many as having one of the greatest theme songs
in the history of television, the show <i>Cheers</i> follows the antics and
daily lives of the employees of a Boston bar and its patrons who frequent the
establishment. Through the many failed relationships, the changes in management,
the transition of characters, and the numerous wacky conflicts that transpire within
Sam Malone’s bar, the characters forge a community that supports one another,
loves one another, and cherishes the time spent with one another. Now viewed from our
perspective in the year 2022, the community and friendship displayed throughout
the show <i>Cheers</i> has become more revered and appreciated. Perhaps one of
the more appealing elements of the show may be what Jim Wilder and Michel
Hendricks refer to as the concept of “group identity” within their book, <i>The
Other Half of Church</i>. With group identity, the focus isn’t placed so much
on an individual’s beliefs, but rather the positive influence that a group can hold
over one another within a community. Stemming from a healthy level of joy and <i>hesed
</i>love, they explain that Christian group identity “answers the
questions, ‘As followers of Jesus, what kind of people are we? How do the
people of God act?” Let us explore three areas in which group identity operates
within church small groups.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>Group Identity that Changes our Behavior<br />
</u></b>When it comes to changing our behaviors, Wilder and Hendricks help us
to understand the science behind our brain’s ability to control our willpower: “Direct
willpower has little effect on our character…When we understand how God
designed our brains, we can see that willpower is too far downstream to
directly influence reflex reactions.” Instead of trying to use raw effort in
changing our character, the two authors recommend tapping into a high-joy <i>hesed</i>
community that possesses a strong group identity. Within our churches, the
small group ministry is an ideal source for this, for the support that is available
can help each of us navigate distressing scenarios and can assist us in the
creation of strategies that change our daily behaviors. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The commonly known “iron sharpens iron” phrase from Proverbs
27:17 is easily applied within this context as small groups allow us to learn
from others who have experienced similar seasons of life. <a href="https://www.seanbuono.com/2022/02/the-power-of-hesed-attachment.html">In
our last article</a>, it was stated that one of the more dangerous tools that
the enemy uses against us is the state of loneliness because he has an easier
time to convince us to make poor decisions (actions that we otherwise would not
have made if among others). Would Eve have made the decision to eat the apple if
Adam was by her side? Would David have pursued Bathsheba if Nathan was walking
alongside of him on the rooftop that night? Group identity becomes a support
net for the scenarios in our lives that tempt us to sin or to stray away from
holiness. When we are vulnerable and share our hearts, our brothers and
sisters in Christ are able to give us meaningful and impactful advice that can lead
us to change our behaviors and to become more Christ-like.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>Group Identity that Forms our Character<br />
</u></b>Another danger of being in a state of loneliness is forgetting our
identity in Christ. Yet within a small group that meets on a consistent basis, Wilder
and Hendricks explain that more opportunities are available for us to remind
each other who we are. They elaborate, explaining that “regular reminders
ground our identity in the character of Jesus. We need to tell each other what
kind of people we are, not only as a reminder but also to immerse new
Christians into their new identities.” Even in <i>Cheers</i>, we see this
process as new “outsider” characters like Kristie Alley’s Rebecca, Woody
Harrelson’s Woody, and Kelsey Grammer’s Frasier each come aboard in later
seasons and become integrated, accepted, and then eventually acclimated into
the community. Wilder and Hendricks note that “character is revealed by how we
act instinctively to our relational surroundings” and that over time, “the
people with whom we share joy, <i>hesed</i>, and belonging change us outside
the realm of our direct willpower.” Just as a battery can be recharged when electrical
current is run through it, our faith can be recharged by spending time with
fellow Christians.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>Group Identity that Solidifies our Purpose<br />
</u></b>According to Scripture, each of us are born with at least one spiritual
gift (1 Cor 12:7). Such gifts are not meant to be left idle, but rather meant
to be shared with others whom the Lord places into our care. While some use
their God-given gifts to go on to minister to the world, others are called by
God to use their gifts to minister to the individual standing right next to
them. In the eyes of the kingdom of God, each scenario is just as important as
the other (Matt 18:10-14), and, in either case, we can discover deeper purpose for
each of us here on this earth. By being in a small group, we are greeted with
the chance to utilize our spiritual gifts more often and experience the heavenly
affirmation that comes with the feeling of being used by the Lord for the benefit
of His kingdom. Wilder and Hendricks say, “Our group identity must reflect the
multifaceted character of Jesus.” Indeed, when we utilize our spiritual gifts
within a joy-filled <i>hesed</i> community that has a healthy group identity,
we put on display the image of Jesus and show a glimpse of what He might do if He was still
in human form today. Let us foster a community within our small groups that
allow us to speak into each other and reaffirm what kind of people we are. Let
us make a commitment to be in fellowship so that we sharpen one
another and recharge each other’s batteries. Let us pursue a group identity
that mirrors the bold image of God for all the world to see.<o:p></o:p></p><br /><p></p>Sean Buonohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15285394185026509474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248559049049073909.post-10416622003691473112022-02-04T08:25:00.003-08:002022-02-04T12:09:36.246-08:00The Power of Hesed Attachment<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhyzACDvKl9_KR6vqpTIMtPOl4j8Jns8ziytDlzTq0sFxiN5b0ngU9s5a-Oj0ZL4oqFJWb6EAAxj30aqti22cFgwIFgKLy7U7L3lPEE_ZdYt04GlrSrGQCDTZ_oSbfB8g9dUX4sIvPJtXQ7rqmhrnu_6HvATU9Bmn1fCtHTj9LyeOuvRjnrvnt5orHs=s4272" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2848" data-original-width="4272" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhyzACDvKl9_KR6vqpTIMtPOl4j8Jns8ziytDlzTq0sFxiN5b0ngU9s5a-Oj0ZL4oqFJWb6EAAxj30aqti22cFgwIFgKLy7U7L3lPEE_ZdYt04GlrSrGQCDTZ_oSbfB8g9dUX4sIvPJtXQ7rqmhrnu_6HvATU9Bmn1fCtHTj9LyeOuvRjnrvnt5orHs=s320" width="320" /></a></div><p>1 John 4:16 says that “God is love. Whoever lives in love
lives in God, and God in them” (NIV). From what we understand as Christians, the
very epitome of what could be considered unconditional love is Jesus’s
sacrifice on the Cross for us. Yet the capability to express love is not reserved
to just those who are religious; even if an individual is not a Christian,
humans are able to express love towards other. Believers understand this
phenomenon to stem from the understanding that we are all made in the image of
God (Genesis 1:27). So if we wanted to live our best lives and surround ourselves
with the most enriching and loving relationships that we can possibly have, then what are our
options? Based upon the research noted in the book <i>The Other Half of Church</i> by Jim Wilder and Michel Hendricks, an individual's small group within their church may be one of their best options. Today, we will be focusing on the covenant-like love that can be expressed within a person's small group.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">To catch up on the earlier articles that discuss small
groups through the book by Wilder and Hendricks, <a href="https://www.seanbuono.com/2021/10/the-brain-and-small-groups.html">click
here</a> to navigate to the first article within the series.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>Healthy Attachment</u></b><br />
When discussing the topic of relationships, the word “attachment” isn’t often
used in positive terms. While Eastern cultures are more apt to take on a close-knit
communal approach to relationships, Western cultures tend to lean more towards
relationships that consider other individuals to be more like acquaintances instead
of intimate friends. For a Western individual, to be “attached” to someone who
is not a member of their immediate family can seem odd, perhaps even
countercultural. However, Wilder and Hendricks help us understand the critical function
of “attachment” within our brains:<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><i>Attachment is the strongest
force in the human brain. It is not an emotion. Although we feel it strongly,
an attachment runs much deeper in the brain below willful control. Attachment
is the best word scientists could find for what glues people together and
little creatures to their parents. It produces an enduring care for the
well-being of another. Attachment is a life-giving forever bond with no
mechanism in the brain to unglue us.<o:p></o:p></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">One of the more dangerous tools that the enemy can use against
us is the state of loneliness. By getting us to feel alone or to feel like no
one else understands what we are going through, the devil is able to convince us
to pursue actions that we would have never considered before. However, when we
are a part of a community that expresses a covenant-like <i>hesed</i> love
toward one another, it creates what Wilder and Hendricks refer to as a “family
structure,” an environment where we are able to experience the type of oneness that Jesus promotes in John 17:20-23. It is in a family structure,
Wilder and Hendricks notes, that our perspectives change and the strong
attachments we create will establish a flow of transformational power. They continue,
informing us that “our brains draw life from our strongest relational
attachments to grow our character and develop our identity. Who we love shapes
who we are.” <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>When Fellowship Occurs Without Attachment<br />
</u></b>When small groups meet without an intentional roadmap to developing
attachments, its participants who are seeking genuine fellowship within the church may
still be left wanting. Wilder and Hendricks note that in the context of the
overarching culture of the church, attachment-deprived fellowship can stunt relational growth within the community. In a “low <i>hesed</i> church,” they note that while a friendly community
may not experience as much conflict in the short term, it struggles to accept the pain and
character flaws that inevitably occur when individuals begin to grow closer together; “High-<i>hesed</i>”
churches on the other hand are willing to accept pain and character flaws. Indeed,
they <i>expect</i> the pain to occur. But because of the presupposed covenant-like
<i>hesed</i> love that the community operates from, there is no shame or
withdrawal from the difficult or vulnerable areas of our lives. Weaknesses are
used as launching pads to help strive for the transformative character growth that
is collectively pursued. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Yet Wilder and Hendricks remark that meeting with one
another just for the sake of communal gathering is not enough. In one of the few
occasions in the book where they actually do address small group ministries,
they explain that <i>hesed</i> love does not automatically grow on its own
within a small group. Rather, they argue for an approach where the church proactively
trains up its small group leaders with a curriculum that “make[s]
relationship-building a centerpiece of the group curriculum instead of an
afterthought.” By incorporating these concepts into our scheduled meetings
with leaders, the long-term effects can be largely impactful as small group leaders
begin to operate their groups more through the lens of <i>hesed</i> relationships.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>Hesed as a Part of Our DNA<br /></u></b>So important is the concept of <i>hesed </i>love for these two authors
that they claim that “until we restore our loving attachments to God and each
other, we are wasting our time doing ministry, church, or anything else for
that matter.” With this bold stance in mind, it must be our goal to achieve a
clear understanding of love so that we are able to become living examples of <i>hesed</i>
for those whom God places in our care. Perhaps some examples of this can include
the launching of new small groups that focus predominantly on purpose-driven
relationships, or perhaps more concerted efforts to <a href="https://www.seanbuono.com/2022/01/the-relational-joy-of-small-groups.html">build
joy within the community</a>, or maybe even surveying the community for
suggested activities that would allow everyone to work together and interact
more often. In a high-<i>hesed</i> environment, members of the community are
confident that they can experience a loving fellowship that uplifts them and
helps them in their journey. Wilder and Hendricks encourage us to restructure how
we relate to one another and practice being a family until <i>hesed</i> actually
becomes a part of our DNA. Let us
express <i>hesed</i> love to one another in such a prominent way that it may
multiply within our communities and set the stage for the next two key
ingredients of Christian relationships: Group Identity and Healthy Correction. </p>Sean Buonohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15285394185026509474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248559049049073909.post-84284847256153726112022-01-13T23:50:00.001-08:002022-01-13T23:50:11.483-08:00The Relational Joy of Small Groups<p style="text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhWJwuipzrHukB5uVxT8PFtxgis5CGqrBw-SmP9VajmrRFqG_b7u27xAKRyVz_m9dKAyr-H6xmoEfYY9DCAYSJRGSqvUAH4Ib_hMT9N6j9fgepaXkU1LEIGsZDnGpkV6ohQ5zC3P81OYYsVf6r0TLIhkffJYPEnZxEBsflajukmsuQ5yDIiCo7xC0gl=s4608" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3456" data-original-width="4608" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhWJwuipzrHukB5uVxT8PFtxgis5CGqrBw-SmP9VajmrRFqG_b7u27xAKRyVz_m9dKAyr-H6xmoEfYY9DCAYSJRGSqvUAH4Ib_hMT9N6j9fgepaXkU1LEIGsZDnGpkV6ohQ5zC3P81OYYsVf6r0TLIhkffJYPEnZxEBsflajukmsuQ5yDIiCo7xC0gl=s320" width="320" /></a></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="MsoHyperlink"><a href="https://www.seanbuono.com/2021/10/full-brained-small-groups.html">So far
in our series</a></span> on <i>The other Half of Church</i>, we’ve established
that our brains process information from the world first through the
right-brain before the left-brain has the opportunity to contribute to our
thoughts and feelings. Such a concept has the potential to make a large impact
on the mission and vision of a church’s small group ministry. Rather than
encouraging groups to meet and discuss curriculum in the hopes that they will
build relationships along the way, a right-brain oriented small group ministry
opts to have their groups meet and seek fellowship with one another and explore
curriculum <i>through</i> the context of relationships. It is from here that we
will continue to unpack what such a model can look like, focusing today on when
small groups make the intentional effort to practice relational joy with one
another.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">To experience joy is to experience what God desires for us. In
Psalms 16:11, David says to the Lord “You show me the path of life. In your
presence there is fullness of joy; in your right hand are pleasures forevermore”
(NRSV). Peter says that when we believe in Christ, we are “filled with an inexpressible
and glorious joy, for [we] are receiving the end result of [our] faith, the
salvation of [our] souls.” (1 Peter 1:8-9, NIV). Jesus even took a moment to
explain that when we keep His commandments, we will remain in His love, His joy
will be in us, and our joy would be made complete (John 15:10-11). In other
words, when we
remain in God’s presence, when we believe in Jesus as our Lord and Savior, and
when we follow the commands of Jesus, we end up experiencing a joy that is so
pure and powerful that nothing else can be added to it in order to make it
better! <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Many of us are familiar with this phenomenon if we recall
the season that took place shortly after giving our lives to Christ. Commonly,
a new believer throws themselves into the faith and passionately dedicates themselves
to these three practices. Yet as time progresses and the fleshly driven world
begins to chip away at their ability to adhere to these three practices, their “joy
tank” is replenished less often. Some individuals may even experience dry seasons
where one or more of the practices are set aside entirely. This causes a
dilemma that many believers are experiencing (especially in a post-pandemic
world): if we are not independently seeking these three practices, how can we
then restore joy both inside and outside of the church? The good news is that according
to brain science, small groups may be one of the very best options we have that
is available to us.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">When discussing how our joy is impacted by the relationships
that we develop with one another, authors Jim Wilder and Michel Hendricks of <i>The
Other Half of Church</i> arrived at three important points of convergence within
their studies: <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">1) Joy is primarily transmitted
through the face (especially the eyes) and secondarily through voice. <br />
2) Joy is relational. It is what we feel when we are with someone who is happy
to be with us. Joy does not exist outside of a relationship. <br />
3) Joy is important to God and to us.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">These three points are satisfied by small groups in a
marvelous way. First, the authors point out that the face is key. While in the
past we’ve made note that <a href="https://www.seanbuono.com/2020/07/easing-churchgoers-back-into-small.html">online
groups are a great stepping stone for individuals to transition into in-person
groups</a>, the ideal will always remain to be in-person groups. With an online
group, genuine eye contact is lost and we don’t know who is looking at whom. As a
result, we have difficulty establishing an intentional connection with a
specific person in order to receive the joy-filled connection that our brains are seeking.
Second, joy is not possible without relationships. With a small group, there is
intent and anticipation in meeting together and we experience a celebration when
individuals arrive at the group where they are expected and welcomed. For those
who hope to haphazardly experience joy through chance encounters or accidental
interactions with others, their joy-deprived hearts will forever remain
unsatisfied. Third, the three practices noted earlier from Scripture requires genuine relationship with not only God, but also with others as we actively live out the commandments of Jesus with those whom the Lord places into our lives.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">There is a joy to know and to be known within a small group.
Wilder and Hendricks note that “brain science reveals that this joy sensation
is crucial for emotional and relational development.” From this perspective,
joy can be viewed as a catalyst that can help to generate fresh transformation in Christ.
Sharing praise reports, intentionally seeking out an individual to spend time
with them, and expressing gratitude to one another can all be methods that help increase joy in our lives. Let your church’s small group ministry be
the vehicle that the Lord can use to help weave these precious moments into your
community.<o:p></o:p></p><br /><p></p>Sean Buonohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15285394185026509474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248559049049073909.post-81047903300787425682021-10-22T00:06:00.001-07:002021-10-22T00:06:44.553-07:00Full-Brained Small Groups<p></p><div style="text-align: center;"> <a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1UVXLvQkwRM/YXJhJSN143I/AAAAAAAABkU/YxkHzyoVWrU3cJbqkniBpnKcZKto9zehQCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/ritesh-tamrakar-BRnFGMkzxDs-unsplash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1363" data-original-width="2048" height="213" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1UVXLvQkwRM/YXJhJSN143I/AAAAAAAABkU/YxkHzyoVWrU3cJbqkniBpnKcZKto9zehQCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/ritesh-tamrakar-BRnFGMkzxDs-unsplash.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal">In <a href="https://www.seanbuono.com/2021/10/the-brain-and-small-groups.html">our
previous article</a>, we introduced the concepts of right and left-brain associations
with one’s pursuit of relational development, as described by authors Jim
Wilder and Michel Hendricks in their book <i>The Other Half of Church</i>. As
we journey through this series of articles, we will continue to study the
principles from this insightful text while applying them to our respective small
group ministries. Today, we will unpack what Wilder and Hendricks label as “full-brained
Christianity,” a practice of pursuing one’s faith where both sides of the brain
are healthily engaged within the process of an individual’s relational
development.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>Full-Brained Christianity Within Small Groups<br />
</u></b>Although their book encourages us to view ministry from a vantage point
that intentionally engages the right-brain more often, Wilder and Hendricks are
quick to uphold the importance of discipleship programs and left-brain activities.
It is here in this balance where “full-brained Christianity” can thrive within a
church’s small group ministry. But do we nest right-brained activities within a
left-brained discipleship structure of small groups? Or do we nest left-brained
activities within a right-brained relational structure of small groups? Wilder
and Hendricks opt for the latter. To them, forcing character change without
first engaging the right-brain is like putting the cart before the horse since “our
preconscious right brain is the driver of character change, not our conscious
thoughts and willpower.”<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So if relational growth is strengthened through activities
that promote right-brained engagement, then is opening the Bible and reading
Scripture together a worthwhile activity for a group that wants to grow? Before
answering, perhaps it might be better to reframe the question: Rather, does the
group have a level of relational connectivity established so that they
can explore the text and also feel safe in their vulnerability with one another?
I confess that I’ve been on both ends of this spectrum. In one group that I had
attended, we opened the Bible to read the Word and would typically end up pointing
out a few items that we liked within the passage; Yet I’ve also been a part of
a group where the text was opened and we poured out our souls over the living
Word of God, allowing the Holy Spirit to saturate our conversation with
revelatory insights. The difference between the two groups that I experienced
was the level of relational connectivity that we had established <i>before</i>
we engaged in studying the Word. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>Relational Brain Skills and Covid-19<br />
</u></b>While the pandemic certainly inflicted collateral damage upon various
areas of our lives, our willingness to pursue relationships may have been one
of the more impacted areas of them all (<a href="https://www.seanbuono.com/2020/08/the-shift-to-essential-small-groups.html">A
phenomenon we introduced last year</a> as individuals were returning to groups).
Wilder and Hendricks note that when we possess a lack of social interaction, it
can lead to a church system that leans more towards left-brained Christianity.
From here, this type of framework begets a loss of relational and emotional
skills, which further compounds and inevitably results in ineffective
discipleship. In other words, without a relationally-focused recalibration of the
direction of our small group ministries, the pandemic may likely be causing our
discipleship programs to become less effective. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">On the other hand, Wilder and Hendricks note that when we
increase our “relational brain skills,” we build up a joy capacity that can
help us navigate through the larger emotional events that occur within our
lives. Indeed, “when our identity is not well developed, our personality will
change in different settings. With a well-formed brain, our identity will not
change in different circumstances.” If an individual’s identity—or even their
church’s identity—still feels “off” after returning from lockdowns, it might be
worth considering a season that focuses intently on the pursuit of developing
the community’s relational skills. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>The Road Ahead<br />
</u></b>To help encourage healthy character transformation within the church,
Wilder and Hendricks present four essential ingredients: <i>hesed</i> love,
relational joy, group identity, and healthy correction. In the weeks ahead, we
will explore further what these ingredients mean within the context of our
small groups, and what we can do as leaders to stimulate organic growth. Let us
forge a community with a foundation that will not be easily shaken by the
tumultuous seasons that may lie ahead. Let us pause for a moment and truly ask
one another how the other person is doing. Let us strive for the type of Spirit-filled
whole-brained community that we read about through the book of Acts, where both
the temple courts and the house-to-house meetings actively took place
(Acts 2:46). <o:p></o:p></p><br /><p></p>Sean Buonohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15285394185026509474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248559049049073909.post-59167082330014941732021-10-08T01:01:00.000-07:002021-10-08T01:01:04.508-07:00The Brain and Small Groups<p></p><div style="text-align: center;"> <a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-C98c9TdQvXA/YV_1EyvRGCI/AAAAAAAABkE/eJzdiWHkhTIS4ugqcJ4ReRhVcv9KWTApACLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/robina-weermeijer-so1L3jsdD3Y-unsplash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1152" data-original-width="2048" height="180" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-C98c9TdQvXA/YV_1EyvRGCI/AAAAAAAABkE/eJzdiWHkhTIS4ugqcJ4ReRhVcv9KWTApACLcBGAsYHQ/s320/robina-weermeijer-so1L3jsdD3Y-unsplash.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p></p><p>What encourages continual transformation within the heart of
a believer? Some say it is reading Scripture, while others might say that it is
a healthy prayer life. Certainly, these items are vital and they incorporate
two core activities of the Christian faith. Yet if you asked those who study
neuroscience, it’s likely that they would have another item to add. Coauthored
by Jim Wilder and Michel Hendricks, the book <i>The Other Half of Church</i>
explores the neuroscience of transformational change and what we in the church
can (and probably should) do in order to unlock huge opportunities for our
churchgoers’ spiritual growth. Over the course of the next few months, let us unpack some
of the larger concepts introduced by the authors while looking at the text through
the lens of one’s small group ministry.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>Our Brain’s Two Halves</u></b><br />
For those who remembered their lessons from high school biology, our brain is
made up of what our authors refer to as two “processors” (the left and the
right), which work together but specialize in different responsibilities. While
it is common that the right side of the brain is often associated with art or
emotions and the left side of the brain is often associated with logic or problem
solving, what may not be as commonly understood is that all of the information
that our brain receives will traverse through a pathway that
begins on the right side of our brain before it travels to the left side of our
brain. As a result, our right brain processes data more quickly than our left brain. According to Wilder, “The
right hemisphere process that creates our working identity integrates our
reality six times per second. The brain brings together current experience and
emotionally important personal memories to create an active sense of who we are
in our relationships at that moment.”<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>Relationship-Fueled Transformation<br />
</u></b>When you reflect upon a season of your life where you experienced some
of the greatest character growth you ever had, who was surrounding you in your
life during that time? When I gave my life to Christ, I not only had a mentor
in my life who was teaching me up in the faith, but I was also spending time
with other Christians on a weekly basis. While I was reading Scripture and finding
out who God was through the living Word, I was also observing others who were
leading by example and who were showing how to live a Christian life. Indeed, I
couldn’t imagine what my formation in the faith would have been if it hadn’t
been for those individuals who were walking alongside me during that time. Testimonies
of that “on fire” stage for new believers often echo similar details, where
relationships typically seem to be at the core of the person’s season of
transformation. Wilder and Hendricks agree, explaining that since “our right
brain governs the whole range of relational life,” our “character formation
develops out of our community, the people we call ‘my people.’ Our loving
attachments and the values of our community drive our character.”<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>The Brain and Small Groups</u></b><br />
When we encourage individuals in our church to grow in the Lord, what types of
activities do we normally recommend for them to pursue? A common sermon on
spiritual growth will likely include Scripture reading and increased prayer
time, but are relationships included within such a mix? And if fellowship with
other Christians is indeed mentioned, to what degree is relationship-building
encouraged? If our brains are wired to process our world more through
our right brain, and if our right brain governs our relational life, and if our
relational life is what accelerates our ability to have positive transformation
and character growth, then does our church’s prioritization of its small group
ministry reflect this? In the weeks ahead, we’ll explore how small groups are the
perfect vehicles for delivering the ingredients that Wilder and Hendricks list
as essential for fruitful growth.<o:p></o:p></p><br /><p></p>Sean Buonohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15285394185026509474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248559049049073909.post-29401978728505947572021-09-21T23:57:00.001-07:002021-09-21T23:57:27.489-07:00Insights from the Early Church<p style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bEgF7H1JSOA/YUrTmg3VrNI/AAAAAAAABjw/3YRwEWoQaWMrflN35Zi-2Mbs9FAlrJLpACLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/editdaniele-levis-pelusi-Ykzj_KlF7ow-unsplash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="2048" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bEgF7H1JSOA/YUrTmg3VrNI/AAAAAAAABjw/3YRwEWoQaWMrflN35Zi-2Mbs9FAlrJLpACLcBGAsYHQ/s320/editdaniele-levis-pelusi-Ykzj_KlF7ow-unsplash.jpg" width="320" /></a></p><br /><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="text-align: left;">Whether in time or in physical proximity, those who were
closest to Jesus had a once-in-eternity opportunity to tell humanity the most
essential information that is needed in order to build a proper understanding
of the Christian faith. Due to their positioning within time and history, it is
fascinating to acknowledge that their writings will continue to be referenced
and widely consulted for the remainder of the time that humankind will reside
upon this earth. While the collection of retained works from the first few
centuries is not as large as the texts and writings that would eventually be
written during the centuries that followed, two early Christian works in
particular stand out as noteworthy and exceptional when capturing a glimpse
into the teachings of the early Church: </span><i style="text-align: left;">The Didache</i><span style="text-align: left;">, and </span><i style="text-align: left;">The Shepherd
of Hermas</i><span style="text-align: left;">.</span></div><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>The Didache</u></b><br />
Along with its catechistic tone in providing guidance on items like how to
appoint bishops and deacons, how to pray over the Eucharist, and how to confirm
when a prophet is genuine, <i>The Didache</i> calls heavily upon an amplified
interpretation of the Ten Commandments and the two commandments that Jesus
gives us in Matthew 22:37-39. After a brief read, it becomes evident that the
Church was convicted during this time to maintain a level of morality that was
in stark opposition to the cultural climate of the time. Indeed, the author(s)
of <i>Didache</i> comments on the end times in a way that harkens to Matthew
24:22-30 and 2 Timothy 4:3-5, saying “For in the last days the false prophets
and corrupters will abound…and love will be turned into hate…as lawlessness
increases, they will hate and persecute and betray one another. And then the
deceiver of the world will appear as a son of God and will perform signs and
wonders.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, all hope is not lost,
as the text reassures its readers that “those who endure in their faith will be
saved by the accursed one himself” (Jesus).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Considering this somber message that was written so long ago, one can’t
help but wonder if we as a world have made much progress in knowing what it
means to love one another, these past 2,000 years.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>The Shepherd of Hermas</u></b><br />
Yet <i>The Didache</i> wasn’t the only writing from this period that was
concerned about making an intentional effort to love one another. To help
emphasize the generous nature that Christians were called to pursue, <i>The</i>
<i>Shepherd of Hermas</i> also exhorts us to “not hesitate to give, nor grumble
when giving,” and to “give generously to all who are in need, not debating to
whom you will give and to whom you will not…for God wishes that from his own
gifts, gifts should be given to all.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Until we Christians do this, the text makes note that we will
effectively be rendered “useless” for the kingdom of God until we make the
choice to exhibit a spirit of community that benefits those who do not
have.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, according to the author
of <i>Shepherd</i>, we were made rich by the Father for that sole purpose: to
be able to utilize our spiritual gifts and pursue the calling that the Lord has
impressed upon each and every one of our lives. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">Upon reading these two works, I was impressed by how well
they spoke to the responsibilities that God extends to us (even to this day). These
texts from so long ago embolden us to be courageous when carrying out our
respective ministries. They help to give us confidence when introducing others
to Jesus, the only person who is able to rescue individuals from the deep
anguishes of life that they may be experiencing. Let us not walk in uncertainty.
If we fear the devil, then that means we believe that the devil has authority
over us and it gives him permission to admit more evil and/or sin into our
lives. Instead, if we fear the Lord (who actually has real authority and power),
it is here where we are able to tap into the power of the Lord and stand
against the attempted advances of the devil. Let us walk in alignment with the
Holy Spirit and confidently proclaim the Lord’s name in everything that we
do. Amen.</p><p></p>Sean Buonohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15285394185026509474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248559049049073909.post-75853816317652981792021-09-09T23:11:00.001-07:002021-09-09T23:11:59.334-07:00A Moral Duty: Youth on Social Media<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GS8nuZbZ5v0/YTr1KMJn1PI/AAAAAAAABjg/GHXQkXX_K5EN8YymuSAeoaO2s4sHBaLjwCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/rachit-tank-lZBs-lD9LPQ-unsplash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" height="213" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GS8nuZbZ5v0/YTr1KMJn1PI/AAAAAAAABjg/GHXQkXX_K5EN8YymuSAeoaO2s4sHBaLjwCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/rachit-tank-lZBs-lD9LPQ-unsplash.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal">Recently, author and priest Tish Harrison Warren wrote an
article for Christianity Today, titled <a href="https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2021/august-web-only/twitter-facebook-social-media-moral-duty-stay.html?fbclid=IwAR2nstuGdlmeWxHp8U4yuwOaU_ISPJxj7RN6WvjZbz72xjRfphpTmnW99IM&utm_campaign=The%20Culture%20Translator&utm_medium=email&_hsmi=155331861&_hsenc=p2ANqtz-9nnPjwenca8JkNDM5fqZMxo-cuAJild1wBEMVB5LG5YCe9NJPDH0dyUJv90s9yI4tgH7ZHAD7VxsVolRgip1dhZKucDg&utm_content=155331861&utm_source=hs_email">“Don’t
Quit Twitter Yet. You Might Have a Moral Duty to Stay.”</a> The article does
well in posing the questions surrounding what we Christians could and should do
within the realm of social media. But do we teach our youth to simply just limit
their screen time for the sake of their own spiritual health? Or do we teach
them to use their phones and reach out to others for the sake
of the lost? Warren explains, “the unavoidable fact is that people today find a
public voice, in part, through social media. This goes for Christian writers,
artists, and public leaders as well. These online spaces are where people—those
whom Jesus loves—are talking about important things. This is where people share
their work.” Yet the author acknowledges that the topic is complex. While it is
an important space for our voices to have a forum, social media also is known
to “decrease our ability to think critically, increase rates of depression, and
fuel anxiety and distraction.” And for those voices that do begin to gain
traction and to generate a following, “the authority that comes from being
popular online can subvert institutional health and accountability.”<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">We have learned much about the psychological impact that the
virtual world can have on our minds, for it has been a decade since smart
phones arrived on the scene and since the usage of social media apps like Instagram
reached critical mass. The minefield of fleshly-driven messages that social
media brings to our youth is an unavoidable reality for Gen Z and for future
generations to come. Thus, just as the church has helped to train its adults on
how to engage the world within the family, the workplace, and the world, it now
is being called to incorporate into its mission a need to teach its youth about
the intricacies of how to live as digital Christians. Here we will briefly
explore a few areas where this can be applied within our respective youth ministries.
<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>Giving Youth a Platform<br />
</u></b>Since our students will almost certainly download social media apps and
participate in the online community, why not equip them on how to use it for
the benefit of the kingdom of God? For previous articles on ideas of how to
accomplish this, check out <a href="https://www.seanbuono.com/2020/05/youth-ministry-of-micro-influencers.html">what
it means to be a micro-influencer</a> and some of the ways that a <a href="https://www.seanbuono.com/2020/09/youth-empowered-bonus-chapter.html">Social
Media “Empower Team”</a> can be established within your youth ministry.<b><u><o:p></o:p></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>Focus on Creating More than Responding</u></b><br />
Too many times have our responses to other content creators come back to haunt
us when the influencer stumbles and generates enough negative attention to get
themselves “cancelled.” To the critics that rummage through our digital
archives, it doesn’t matter that we did not know about that influencer’s sexism
or political affiliation; a tweet or comment from us that agreed with one of
their past posts is now in the spotlight and our character can suddenly be questioned
alongside the character of the recently "cancelled” individual. But do we go silent and completely refrain from commenting
on anything on social media? No, such a thought is unrealistic and unhealthy. However,
we must also think twice before clicking that “submit” button on our replies.
Is the comment that we want to make a life-giving and kingdom-contributing comment? After all,
what we do online is forever; what is said or shared or sent is locked in the
digital archives of the internet and can never go away (even if we might try to
delete it). Rather, let us encourage and teach our youth that we don’t have to wait
upon the creativity of others in order to feel that we can be given the chance
to interact with the world. When we focus more on creating God-inspired content,
it provides an even greater opportunity for the world to hear our distinct
voice. It is then that the Lord can use us in the best opportunities where He
has always meant for us to serve.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>Youth Retreat</u></b><br />
A sermon on social media is great, however the temptations of this world may
cause our students to easily forget the message that prodded their heartstring
a few Sundays ago. Sometimes, immersion into a topic can create a series of memorable
experiences that can help students break away from the world’s distractions and
focus on what the Holy Spirit is trying to communicate to them. Because of
this, dedicating an upcoming youth retreat to social media may be the perfect
opportunity to address a large amount of material in a short amount of time. Perhaps
on opening night, the retreat can introduce “Tik Tok Workshops,” where the
youth break out into teams (each led by a youth leader) and then create
Church-friendly Tik Tok videos (feel free to add a competition element as well,
where prizes are offered for the best videos). Pause for a quick exercise to have each student make 5 positive and affirming comments on their
friends’ content. Youth pastors can take advantage of the opportunity to
discover their students’ spiritual gifts and work with them to identify ways where
they can be deployed within the digital realm. Finally, perhaps the team can
wrap up one of the evenings where the speaker addresses the heavy topic of
pornography and then initiates a “phone altar call.” Here, each person is
invited to lay their electronic device at the altar and the youth ministry
leadership prays over the devices while they are dedicated to the Lord. Rather
than an ineffective attempt to get our students to merely decrease their screen
time, the goal of such a retreat would be to educate and train our students on
how to utilize technology to help transform lives and bring glory God.<o:p></o:p></p><br /><p></p>Sean Buonohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15285394185026509474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248559049049073909.post-83841158559253828842021-08-27T00:22:00.000-07:002021-08-27T00:22:15.033-07:00Small Groups are a Sealant<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cKLvTMdbEOA/YSiQVDrIEsI/AAAAAAAABjU/z0_YTHxpwXs5HN8hqz0hty33WAC_NqO9QCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/thomas-griesbeck-crt5BbDhO54-unsplash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1367" data-original-width="2048" height="214" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cKLvTMdbEOA/YSiQVDrIEsI/AAAAAAAABjU/z0_YTHxpwXs5HN8hqz0hty33WAC_NqO9QCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/thomas-griesbeck-crt5BbDhO54-unsplash.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal">The process of waterproofing a basement can vary from house
to house. For some homeowners, the task lasts a mere few days. For others, the
battle could drag on for a span of multiple agonizing years. Various factors
contribute to the journey, including the craftsmanship of the home’s original
builders, the characteristics of the plot of land that the house was built
upon, the weather conditions of the area, or even the age of the house. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">While my wife and I have not experienced any waterproofing
concerns in our time of owning a house, I nonetheless made a bit of extra
effort these last few years by sealing the perimeter of our home. While there
is a concrete driveway and some concrete slabs that surround the entire perimeter of our house,
time has taken its toll on the hardened cement and gaps have emerged. To lessen
the amount of water that seeps into the foundation and to help prevent an
increasing water table from developing, I decided to purchase and apply self-leveling
sealant along the cracks between the house and the adjacent driveway/concrete slabs.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Attending a small group within the church is a bit like
waterproofing our homes. A small leak through the basement walls, while
tolerable at first, could over time cause more structural and foundational
damage to the home. This, in turn, can lead to more cracks, more leaks and more
flooding (alongside other concerns such as mold buildup, damage to belongings,
or depreciation of the property’s value). Similarly, sinful habits that begin as
an occasional occurrence may start small. However, the spiritual reality that
we experience on this earth is that the slow fester of sin has the potential to
snowball into an uncontrollable force that can lead us to ruin (James 1:15). <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">When pouring the sealant, some sections of the perimeter can
have small gaps, while other sections may have gaping chasms that need to be
filled by rocks and/or sections of backer rod first before proceeding. We can
relate, as certain seasons require only a thin line of sealant to cover the
gaps in our spiritual lives, whereas other times we find ourselves in need of a
drastic overhaul of our behaviors and /or environments in order to recalibrate
our relationship with the Lord.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Sealant doesn’t likely come in many colors, and depending on
the brick color of the house that we have, pouring a sealant that
doesn’t match our home’s colors may end up negatively affecting the curb appeal
of the property. Yet just as how it is more important to have a dry basement
than a pretty exterior, it is crucial for our souls to have a holy vitality
that thrives in the Spirit and is allowed to live free, unburdened by any mold
or rot of heart. Even though the driveway may not look as good as the day that
the cement was poured and even though our fellow group members see a bit more
into our past when we share our hearts, our lives will grow more righteous and we
are able to weather the heavier storms of life that would have otherwise
flooded our houses.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Yet sealant isn’t forever, and as time passes, cracks begin
to emerge. One day when doing yardwork, we are surprised to discover a weed
growing out of the tiniest hole that had emerged within the layer of sealant. Indeed,
homeowners are well aware of the fact that one’s yardwork is never done and
such a weed can serve as an indication that it is time to dig it out and pour
some new sealant over the area once again. Similarly, the busyness of the
day-to-day can sometimes pull us away from community for a year or two at a
time. The weeds that sprout within our lives can serve as key indicators to
inform us that it is now once again time to return to fellowship, thereby
allowing us to enjoy life with one another as God had intended: in community, nurturing
and pursuing transformational relationships with one another as we together give
praise and glory to our Savior, Jesus Christ. <o:p></o:p></p><br /><p></p>Sean Buonohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15285394185026509474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248559049049073909.post-12081924420060816002021-08-12T23:09:00.001-07:002021-08-12T23:09:15.390-07:00Building Upon a Solid Foundation of Faith<p style="text-align: center;"> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KMiIedA3GDw/YRYK5q5v8CI/AAAAAAAABjI/doeE4YE1v70PZHdXtOEOdgOA2gRfWdtigCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/dan-dennis-7M_Y_QgNT80-unsplash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1360" data-original-width="2048" height="213" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KMiIedA3GDw/YRYK5q5v8CI/AAAAAAAABjI/doeE4YE1v70PZHdXtOEOdgOA2gRfWdtigCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/dan-dennis-7M_Y_QgNT80-unsplash.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal">In the first apartment that my wife and I had lived in,
there was a basement within the unit where the tenants could do laundry and also
access extra storage in their own assigned sections. However, during heavy
rains, it was common to find areas of the basement floor covered in a thin
layer of water. Our storage section of the basement was especially susceptible
to the floods that would occur. Perhaps because the amount of water in the
basement wasn’t alarming, our appeals to the apartment complex to address the
issue would not yield any results. Nevertheless, we had to do something to
protect our belongings within the storage section. As a result, we ended up
implementing a strategy where we would place our storage tubs on bricks to
elevate them a few inches off of the ground. While such efforts may have been a
good strategy in theory, the method was anything but sound. Not only did I have
a limited number of bricks, but the bricks that I had in my possession were the
smaller kind of decorative bricks that were often used for patios and
landscaping. So to protect our belongings with the resources we had, I would artfully
balance each tub upon only two smaller-sized decorative bricks. From there, anytime I
would stack another tub or box upon one of the base-level tubs, I first had to test
the weight of the load and then maneuver the storage bins in such a way where a
successful state of balance was achieved within the respective column of bins
and boxes.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">It’s amusing to reflect upon this now, for I couldn’t tell
you why I did not secure our belongings in a more proper manner by simply purchasing
a few more bricks for each column of tubs and boxes to rest upon. Perhaps it
was my stubborn attitude that believed that nothing bad would happen and that I
always keep everything in perfect balance. Now as I look back upon this season
of our lives, I can’t help but realize how similar my spiritual journey was to
this feeble method of balancing and maneuvering. At the time that my wife and I
got married, I was shackled by sinful habits that were impeding my ability to
grow more in the Lord. Rather than repenting, I would try to balance both my
sin and my faith, believing that my artfully balanced lifestyle would never be
at risk of falling over and causing damage to the areas of my life that I
highly valued.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But as we get older, life grows more complex, and we end up
needing to juggle more responsibilities and needing to care for more
individuals. If my wife and I would have continued to live in that first
apartment, we would have inevitably acquired more stuff and would have needed
to stack the storage bins higher. And if I continued to use my shaky foundation
of small bricks, it would have only been a matter of time before everything
would have crashed to the ground and gotten damaged by the next batch of water that
would have leaked into the basement. Such a scenario reminds me of James, who says
in his epistle, “after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin,
when it is full-grown, gives birth to death” (1:15). Indeed, whether it is a
slow decay or a sudden event, spiritual and/or physical death is the inevitable
result of leading a sin-soaked life; in hindsight, I believe that this was in
fact the path that I was living on.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">If we layer and stack our lives upon a shaky foundation of
faith, the slightest nudge can tip the balance of the storage bins of our lives
and the contents of our heart can become damaged. Is such damage irreparable? It’s
tough to predict the scope of the hurt that we will carry with us. Similar to a
book that absorbs water into some or all of its pages, it will never look or
feel the same again (even after the pages once again become dry). Too, a heart
that is ravaged by sin may be able to forgive and be forgiven, but the scar
tissue remains and the past can come back to disrupt our emotions when we least
expect it. For me and my situation, I gratefully praise God. Even though I will
not be perfect and even though there is some scar tissue, I know that I am
saved and the sins that used to impede my relationship with Him have been given
over to the Lord and He has since declared victory in my life. I share this
with hope and pray that you too may encounter the incredible person of Jesus and continue to develop a close relationship with Him. Grace and peace from our Lord Jesus Christ, amen.<o:p></o:p></p><br /><p></p>Sean Buonohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15285394185026509474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248559049049073909.post-57532723666137440912021-07-30T00:18:00.001-07:002021-08-15T17:59:00.167-07:00Being a Navigator of Discussion<p style="text-align: center;"> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-o0X_x6_hJ6s/YQOl6jnTotI/AAAAAAAABi0/oj66uqLmh2ImQ6GHQDvW3KP5PS5jdFVogCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/joseph-barrientos-eUMEWE-7Ewg-unsplash.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" height="213" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-o0X_x6_hJ6s/YQOl6jnTotI/AAAAAAAABi0/oj66uqLmh2ImQ6GHQDvW3KP5PS5jdFVogCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/joseph-barrientos-eUMEWE-7Ewg-unsplash.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><p class="MsoNormal">During my undergraduate studies, I pursued a degree that
required me to take some of the more challenging math courses that the
university had to offer. One particular course I had to take was Calculus 3
(also known as multi-variable calculus). After a few weeks in, I quickly
realized that my instructor for the course was terrifying. Not only was his
teaching style unapologetically abrasive and unsympathetic, he would laugh at and
criticize his students who answered his questions incorrectly in class. In my
stubbornness to try to see it through, I unfortunately ended up failing the
course which meant that I had to take it once again. The next semester, I chose
a different professor, who was arguably the kindest, gentlest, and most sympathetic
math teacher I had ever had the pleasure of studying under during my
undergraduate career. I’m happy to say, the semester ended up with a completely
different result and I ended up acing the course. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Becoming involved within a church’s small group ministry can
sometimes feel similar to this. Oftentimes, the small groups we join will yield
an incredible experience that is exactly what we need in our lives from week to
week. Yet there are times when we hear of an individual who mentions that their
small group leader is not allowing enough time for group conversation or that the
group that they had signed up for is not aligning with the expectations that they
held. While the good times in our groups can help transform our lives for the
better, the less-than-positive experiences can leave us wanting to try another
group. But this does not have to be the case, and we small group leaders can
implement some strategies that can help lessen the number of negative
experiences that occur within the church’s small group ministry.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>Adhering to Group Expectations<br />
</u></b>Revisiting <a href="https://www.seanbuono.com/2019/05/love-learn-serve.html">an older article
from our archives</a>, a reflection on expectations can help us pause and meditate upon
what exactly our group is trying to accomplish. By establishing the levels of
Love, Learn, and Serve ahead of time, there becomes less of a chance for
confusion or dissatisfaction as the group continues to meet throughout the span
of its life.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>Navigators of Discussion</u></b><br />
In their book <i>Creating Community</i>, Andy Stanley and Bill Willits
encourage group leaders to promote participation, explaining that “since shared
participation creates broader ownership of the group, all group members should
be encouraged to participate often in the facilitation and leadership of the
group meeting. This essential also reminds leaders to promote participation by
being navigators of discussion, not teachers of curriculum. The difference is
critical. Every time leaders ask open-ended questions, they are inviting
participation. More than sharing the right answers, <b><i>we want people to
share their lives</i></b>” (emphasis mine). In a post-Covid world, we stand to
benefit more from a community that gives us a space to share our story and to let
us live out our faith. This key point ties in directly with the “Love/Learn/Serve”
breakdwon, where there are distinct differences between how a class is led
versus a small group, or how a community service-oriented group is organized
versus a prayer group.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>Balancing Content with Life-Change<br />
</u></b>For new group leaders, being at the helm of a group can at times feel daunting.
What if no one wants to open up and be vulnerable when answering my questions? What
if I feel that I don’t know enough about the topic to lead a conversation? This
is the beauty of a discussion-led small group that leans on materials like sermon discussion notes or a community book: leaders have the content to fall back onto. If it occurs where
there are not that many individuals who care to open up a given week, then that’s
okay. In such a case, the group is able to use the book (or sermon notes) as fuel
to help drive the interaction between the group members. While answering the
previously prepared questions, group members can slowly open up at their own pace and
eventually come to the realization that they are establishing connections with
one another. Nevertheless, life and its challenges still occur (even in the
midst of us attending small groups). If the discussion at the beginning of a group
meeting reveals that a member of the group is experiencing some major life
changes and that they are in need of prayer, then the group can shift gears and
minister to those who can benefit from an extra helping of grace and love. Exploring
multiple options like these of where to take the group can encourage the group
leader to be in alignment with the Holy Spirit’s direction and also help foster
an environment that can generate more organic positive life-change to occur within
the lives of each group member.<o:p></o:p></p><br /><p></p>Sean Buonohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15285394185026509474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248559049049073909.post-21628811805943800012021-07-15T23:26:00.001-07:002021-07-15T23:36:23.080-07:00Prayer and Jesus, the True Watchtower<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-g5zLdLmR6iU/YPEfBZCPWDI/AAAAAAAABiU/R-hLuuZXve0GOtpBq6HVIVaT7IuKLZkYACLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/denise-metz-TZzs-tSPK2c-unsplash.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1362" data-original-width="2048" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-g5zLdLmR6iU/YPEfBZCPWDI/AAAAAAAABiU/R-hLuuZXve0GOtpBq6HVIVaT7IuKLZkYACLcBGAsYHQ/s320/denise-metz-TZzs-tSPK2c-unsplash.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>In his writings, legendary evangelist Smith Wigglesworth said,<i> “The Word of God is not to be prayed about, the Word of God has
to be received. If you will receive the Word of God, you will always be in a
big place. If you pray about the Word of God the devil will be behind the whole
thing. Never pray about anything which is ‘Thus saith the Lord.’ It has to be
yours to build you on a new foundation of truth.” </i>If you paused for a
moment there to make sure you were reading that right, then you’re in good
company. When I first had read that, I too had to double back and try to
understand what he had meant. I remember thinking, “Why should we not be praying
<i>about</i> the word of God?” Yet as I paused further to reflect, I eventually
realized that although the difference between the two appears to be subtle,
it becomes a bold and powerful perspective on prayer once we understand it and apply it to our
lives.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://www.seanbuono.com/2021/07/supreme-court-and-jesus-true-judge.html">In
our last article</a>, we discussed how Satan is like a circuit court judge and
how Jesus’ authority and ruling will always be able to overpower the efforts of
the evil one. In addition, it was mentioned that a case must be filed and
submitted to a higher court before any review and overturning of ruling can be
declared. In the Christian context, this method of spiritual “appeal” for us
is our prayers, and if we believe that the wrong judgment was
made upon our lives by the devil, then we confidently appeal to the Lord in our time of prayer.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But if we are to appeal to the Lord with a
Wigglesworth approach, what might that look like? For example, if the
devil is trying to make a judgment that brandishes us as a hopelessly lost person
who is forever enslaved by our past sins, we don’t just simply pray: <i>“Scripture
says in <b>Isaiah 1:18</b> that ‘Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall
be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool…’”</i>
Rather, a prayer that receives and imbues Scripture into our hearts may instead
sound like, <i>“Lord, my sins were red as scarlet, but God, you have
made them as white as snow through the perfect sacrifice of your Son Jesus
Christ so that my crimson red sins can be made as wool in the realm of the
eternal!”</i> <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Or if we feel that the devil is trying to make a judgment
upon us that tries to disqualify us from serving in the kingdom of God due to the
insecurities we hold over ourselves, we don’t just simply pray: <i>“Scripture
says in <b>1 Corinthians 12:7</b> that “to each one the manifestation of the
Spirit is given for the common good.”</i> Rather, a prayer that receives and
imbues Scripture into our hearts may instead sound like, <i>“Lord, I believe
your word and your word says that I have been blessed with a manifestation of
the Spirit for the common good of the kingdom of God and the Holy Spirit empowers
me in one or more areas of my life to be <b>more than a match for Satanic
forces</b>.”</i><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">This is what Smith Wigglesworth meant in the difference
between praying <i>about </i>Scripture and <i>receiving</i> Scripture within
our hearts so that we own our faith within our prayers. Praying with such
conviction bolsters our hearts and our minds as it allows us to reach for levels
of holiness that are essential in today’s day and age. 2020 clearly made it known
that the path ahead is slated to be challenging journey for the world as a
whole. Similar to a group of travelers who decide to venture into the
wilderness, they will look at the surrounding landscape from a higher vantage
point in order to get a proper view of what to expect. Once they climb into an
outpost or a watchtower, they are able can see not only a proper path to
pursue, but they can also be aware of any alarming situations like predators
that are lurking about. In a large field with tall grass, a lion can
successfully remain unseen and prowl without being noticed, but the same lion
looks quite foolish to any onlookers if they can easily see it from a
watchtower. This is precisely what we are called as Disciples of Christ to do: to
operate on a level that is completely different than the evil one. Because we
are lifted up and protected by Jesus who is our outpost and solid
foundation, the devil’s attempts at spiritual warfare are unable to be hidden
from us and we can then clearly see his presence and any dangers that may lay
ahead.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">To help us capture this essence and this passion in our
prayers, allow me to leave you with one last quote from the writings of Smith
Wigglesworth: <i>“I never saw a man get anything from God who prayed on the
earth. If you get anything from God, you will have to pray into heaven; for it
is all there. If you are living in the earth realm and expect things from heaven,
they will never come. And I saw, in the presence of God, the limitations of my
faith, there came another faith, a faith that could not be denied, a faith that
took the promise, a faith that believed God’s Word. And from that presence, I came
back again to earth, but not as the same man. God [gives] a faith that could
shake hell and anything else.”</i><o:p></o:p></p><br /><p></p>Sean Buonohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15285394185026509474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248559049049073909.post-18217167835876722622021-07-01T23:37:00.000-07:002021-07-01T23:37:59.857-07:00Supreme Court and Jesus, the True Judge<p></p><div style="text-align: center;"> <a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-X02nejfXiv8/YN6vVKWJEEI/AAAAAAAABiE/9uckyzQOwRcxNCvL90UJXtaD7-3gXnJMACLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/tingey-injury-law-firm-yCdPU73kGSc-unsplash.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-X02nejfXiv8/YN6vVKWJEEI/AAAAAAAABiE/9uckyzQOwRcxNCvL90UJXtaD7-3gXnJMACLcBGAsYHQ/s320/tingey-injury-law-firm-yCdPU73kGSc-unsplash.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p class="MsoNormal">We must acknowledge an important spiritual reality of the
world that we live in: it is the reality that Satan is the ruler of this
world’s fleshly-driven affairs. Such a statement need not catch us off guard,
for 2 Corinthians 4:4 informs us of this, explaining that “The god of this age
has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the
gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God”, NIV). While
the book of Revelation gives us the perspective of the eternal and informs us
of the defeat of Satan before the forces of God, one of the biggest mistakes we
Christians can make on the topic of spiritual warfare is to underestimate the
evil one and forget that the battle is still ongoing here in the physical realm
(a fight in which we find ourselves caught in the middle). Rather than ending
up as collateral damage from the continuous onslaught that Satan hurls upon
this earth, let us refresh our understanding of his limitations so that we are
more properly equipped for the spiritual confrontations that lay ahead of us.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">As much as he might try, we know from Scripture that the
devil can never obtain the ability to judge as justly or as righteously as
God. After all, Jesus is the one true judge, as seen in <a href="https://www.seanbuono.com/2021/06/revelation-and-jesus-true-ruler.html">our
previous article on this series</a> which covered Revelation 19:11. In
addition, we can revisit the words of Jesus Himself, who in John 8:15-16 said, “You
judge by human standards; I pass judgment on no one. But if I do judge, my
decisions are true, because I am not alone. I stand with the Father, who sent
me”; and in John 5:30, where He said, “My judgment is just, for I seek not to
please myself but him who sent me.” <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Even with the lordship of Jesus established, it won’t
stop the devil from trying to become a judge with the same kind of power. But
according to 2 Corinthians 4:4 and Revelation 19:11, Satan’s reach and
jurisdiction is only within this earthly realm. He doesn’t have authority in
the eternal, and if you and I are claimed by the Lord, then the devil has no
chance of being able to snatch you or me out from the hand of Jesus (John 10:28). Thus,
his attempt to judge you and me from his ramshackle, pitiful throne can only be
done on earthly, temporal terms. In other words, his actions are unable to
touch eternity and his jurisdiction stops at the edge of time. Yet while he may be the ruler of this world, Matthew 24:35 reminds us that “this earth will
pass away, but [the words of Jesus] will never pass away.” When this earth passes away, Satan's throne will be destroyed with it.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the end, Satan may try to gather all the material he can
to try and judge us. However, even if he recorded all of our actions and all of
our sins, the spiritual reality is that he <i>still</i> has absolutely no power
over God in the eternal. Even on this earth, he struggles to gain a foothold in
the lives of the alert Christians who understand Luke 10:19, where Jesus says, <i>“I
have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all
the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.”</i> Indeed, once we believe
that Jesus has given His disciples this authority, the snake may bite but it
has been de-venomized. For us, we walk in confidence, knowing that the sting of
eternal death has been removed.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">It is similar to the difference between a circuit court
judge and a Supreme Court judge. If you don’t like the ruling of a circuit
court, you can continue to appeal until eventually it can make its way to the
Supreme Court. The devil is like a circuit court judge. He has some level of
power and he can make a ruling in one direction or another. Should we accept the
ruling of the circuit judge, we must live with the changes that such a ruling
may bring upon our lives. However, if we feel that we are still in the right
and that our case has not been properly heard, then we can appeal. For us
Christians, this means that we have the ability to appeal to a higher
authority: A higher judge, THE Supreme Court judge: Jesus Christ. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Nevertheless, it is not enough to merely <i><u>claim</u> </i>that the devil circuit court judge was wrong. From the legal
perspective, a higher court will not make a ruling to overturn the lesser circuit
court until the case is brought forward to the higher court. In other words, <i><u>the
case must be filed</u></i> before any action is taken by the higher court. In
the Christian circumstance, our method and our vehicle through which an appeal
is made is prayer. In our final article remaining in the series, we will explore this concept further on what our prayer “appeals” can look like and how we can put our previous
knowledge in this series to use. <o:p></o:p></p>Sean Buonohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15285394185026509474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248559049049073909.post-14058204785635340662021-06-17T22:29:00.002-07:002021-06-17T22:29:45.781-07:00Revelation and Jesus, the True Ruler<p style="text-align: center;"> <a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-plQ95lgCsEg/YMws5nGGo-I/AAAAAAAABh0/0vBMQsobL0sluHT4cwIu44L6mmaUE6uigCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/ingo-stiller-5vCQdgU2CLI-unsplash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1152" data-original-width="2048" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-plQ95lgCsEg/YMws5nGGo-I/AAAAAAAABh0/0vBMQsobL0sluHT4cwIu44L6mmaUE6uigCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/ingo-stiller-5vCQdgU2CLI-unsplash.jpg" width="320" /></a><br /><br /></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal">In <a href="https://www.seanbuono.com/2021/06/robin-hood-and-jesus-true-king.html">our
last article</a>, we took the time to establish how Jesus is the true king. In
this week’s article, we will build upon this truth and explore how Jesus is the
true ruler. To help us refresh our memories on this key concept, let us make a
short stop in <b>Revelation 19:11-16</b>. <i>“11 I saw heaven standing open and
there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True.
With justice he judges and wages war. 12 His eyes are like blazing fire, and on
his head are many crowns. He has a name written on him that no one knows but he
himself. 13 He is dressed in a robe dipped in blood, and his name is the Word
of God. 14 The armies of heaven were following him, riding on white horses and
dressed in fine linen, white and clean. 15 Coming out of his mouth is a sharp
sword with which to strike down the nations. ‘He will rule them with an iron
scepter.’ He treads the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God Almighty. 16
On his robe and on his thigh he has this name written: King of Kings and Lord
of Lords” (NIV).</i> What an amazing image of Jesus. This portrayal of our Lord
and Savior on His magnificent steed is placed right in the middle of the
process where the destroyers of the earth are being undone one by one. But who
are these destroyers of the earth and where is this piece of text within the
greater span of Revelation?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">When observing the structure of Revelation as a whole, it
tends to reflect a pattern where a sandwiching format is often used. Among
other smaller formatting patterns, Revelation scholar Craig Koester notes that the book of Revelation consists of 6 vision
cycles that are book-ended by an introduction and conclusion on either side. Each
of the 6 individual vision cycles within the book begin and end with the
presence of God and/or John commenting on what he is seeing in the heavens. Yet
this isn’t the only type of pattern you’ll find in this cryptic book of the
Bible. There is another sandwich-like pattern that you’ll find in the book,
namely the introduction of and the undoing of the destroyers of the earth (this
takes place throughout the course of vision cycles 4,5 and 6). <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Throughout the text, Revelation depicts three primary
destroyers of the earth: first we have Satan (we see in chapter 12 that he is
thrown from heaven to earth); second, the beast and false prophet (scholars
typically combine these two together and these two are introduced in chapter 13);
and third, Babylon the whore (introduced in chapter 17). In the order that
these three destroyers are introduced, Koester also notes that they are disposed of in reverse order.
First, Babylon the whore is undone by the beast in the same chapter that she is
introduced, chapter 17. From here, the beast and false prophet are conquered next
in chapter 19. Finally, Satan is thrown from earth into the abyss and lake of
fire in chapter 20. So here in the excerpt of text from Revelation 19 where we
are currently focusing, this places us right in the middle of the destroyers of the earth
being addressed (The beast and false prophet are actually disposed of in the few verses right afterward in verses 17-21). In this moment of the Bible, we are
witnessing one of the most powerful, awe inspiring, and quite frankly terrifying
descriptions of the perfect power that Jesus Christ administers against the
forces of evil. These destroyers of the earth are the most powerful forces that
hell could possibly be sent to fight, <i>yet they are absolutely decimated by our magnificent Lord.</i> <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But this stunning portrayal of our perfect and powerful Lord
isn’t new to Revelation. If anything, Revelation perfectly encapsulates what
has been shown throughout Scripture up until this point. <b>Isaiah 11:3-4</b> says,
<i>“He will not judge by what he sees with his eyes, or decide by what he hears
with his ears; but with righteousness he will judge the needy, with justice he
will give decisions for the poor of the earth. He will strike the earth with
the rod of his mouth; with the breath of his lips he will slay the wicked”</i>
(NIV). In addition, <b>Psalm 9:8-12</b> says, <i>“He rules the world in
righteousness and judges the peoples with equity. The Lord is a refuge for the
oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name trust in
you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you. Sing the praises of
the Lord, enthroned in Zion; proclaim among the nations what he has done. For
he who avenges blood remembers; he does not ignore the cries of the afflicted”</i>
(NIV). </p><p class="MsoNormal">Indeed, what we see here in Revelation 19 is a perfect representation of
who the Messiah is described and depicted within the Old Testament. Jesus is
the true fulfillment of the Scriptures, and we see Him to be the one true ruler
who is able to execute such judgment in a truly objective and flawless
manner (a feat that no person except the Son of God can do). Jesus is the <i>only</i>
ruler with perfect judgment who we can place our faith and trust in). <o:p></o:p></p><br /><p></p>Sean Buonohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15285394185026509474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248559049049073909.post-72126318587230883632021-06-03T21:13:00.000-07:002021-06-03T21:13:17.906-07:00Robin Hood and Jesus, the True King<p style="text-align: center;"> <a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AC3-GToUNjc/YLmksaAITqI/AAAAAAAABhM/rsOKrjRAVPA6vBXmPssNFvKINubp4PhdQCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/steve-harvey-nXhJ4v_GphQ-unsplash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1366" data-original-width="2048" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AC3-GToUNjc/YLmksaAITqI/AAAAAAAABhM/rsOKrjRAVPA6vBXmPssNFvKINubp4PhdQCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/steve-harvey-nXhJ4v_GphQ-unsplash.jpg" width="320" /></a><br /><br /></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal">Disney’s 1973 film Robin Hood is a classic tale of
adventure, romance, and dispensation of righteous judgment. The film depicts a
state of England where the de facto king at the time (named Prince John) is
unfairly taxing the people of Nottingham to such a high degree that their very
livelihoods are severely affected. Later in the movie, we see Prince John raise
the taxes so high that he imprisons the people of the town who are unable to
pay their abhorrently high dues. Everyone understood that Prince John was
ruling unfairly, and that it was only a matter of time before his brother, the <b><i>real</i></b>
king (King Richard), would return and resume his rightful place on the throne.
Yet even though the people only needed to wait Prince John out, life under his
rule was still exceedingly difficult for the townspeople of Nottingham. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the midst of this state of affairs, we see the dashing Robin
Hood, branded as an enemy of the state because he was robbing from the rich and
giving back to the poor. While there is a subplot of Robin Hood pursuing his
childhood sweetheart Maid Marian throughout the course of the movie, the
greater path of the story follows the unfair imprisonment of the townspeople of
Nottingham (due to the high taxes) and Robin Hood’s efforts to free the
townspeople from the grasp of Prince John. At the end of the movie, not only does King Richard return and ensure that his people remain free, but we are also informed that Prince John and his
minions are placed under arrest and Robin Hood is pardoned. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">If viewed through the lens of Christianity, one can’t help
but notice some similarities between Prince John and the behavior of Satan. First,
we see that Prince John is a temporary king who everyone recognizes to not be
the ruler with true power (He may be in power right now, but everyone knows
that it won’t be for long, once the real king returns). If we compare this to
Satan, we know that the devil may have some power now over this earth, but it
won’t be forever and his ability to rule will end the moment that the true king
returns (2 Corinthians 4:4; Revelation chapters 19-20). <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Second, Prince John employs his sheriff and snake advisor
and other guards to do his bidding, while he runs away when disarmed and, like
a big baby, sucks his thumb out of raging jealousy at the mention of the true
king’s name. We see this in the spiritual realm too, where the devil has an
army of demons and appointed generals to do the evil biddings of the army of
darkness, while he too cowers and runs away at the very mention of the name of
Jesus Christ (James 4 :7-8). <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Third, the taxation policies of Prince John are impacting
the townspeople so much that they are unable to live their lives in a way that
the true king would want them to be able to live. Once again, this is quite like
Satan’s treatment of us on how the
shame, the guilt, and the torment that we are now experiencing at the hands of the devil is not God’s desire
for how we are to live our lives (James 1:17-18). In other words, this Prince John is a fake,
pseudo-king who tries to bring judgment upon the people of Nottingham when in
reality he holds no <u>true</u> power and is destined to not only fail but will
also be shackled and condemned himself.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">What if we looked upon the devil like we view Prince John
from the 1973 Disney film Robin Hood, bemused at his raging jealousy while
knowing in the back of our minds that his reign will be ending soon?
What if we saw today’s spiritual warfare from the lens of eternity, where we
know the fake king is imprisoned and the throne of the true king will
inevitably be restored? It is here on this concept where we will pause and
reflect. Throughout the span of the next few articles, join us as we will
meditate upon the perfect judgment of Jesus Christ and how no other person in
the earthly or spiritual realm (not even Satan himself) can come close to the
power of Jesus Christ.<o:p></o:p></p><br /><p></p>Sean Buonohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15285394185026509474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248559049049073909.post-13862822270465843732021-05-19T19:42:00.000-07:002021-05-19T19:42:48.292-07:003 Ways We Can Hear the Voice of God<p></p><div style="text-align: center;"> <a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uGHkbJE8T8E/YKNugF5AX3I/AAAAAAAABgs/l-bLIm2BCdYUx-YJCgCM6sEiH0-Tyz0HgCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/sharon-mccutcheon-gYxVSeZazXU-unsplash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uGHkbJE8T8E/YKNugF5AX3I/AAAAAAAABgs/l-bLIm2BCdYUx-YJCgCM6sEiH0-Tyz0HgCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/sharon-mccutcheon-gYxVSeZazXU-unsplash.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal">The topic of hearing the voice of God never fails to stir up
the interest and conversation of fellow Christians (and at times, even from individuals of differing faiths or of no faith). Yet if you encountered a new believer who
wasn’t quite sure of what to think on the matter, what would you say? In his
book <i>Hearing God, </i>Dallas Willard eases his readers into such a conversation.
In his wonderful book, he gives loose guidance that recommends checking three
points of reference, sometimes referred to as the “three lights” which we can consult
when determining what the Lord would have us do. He says that these are 1)
Circumstances; 2) Impressions of the Spirit; and 3) Passages of the Bible. Let
us briefly explore each of these three as an introduction to this noteworthy
topic.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>Circumstances</u></b><br />
For us to believe that God is speaking to us through the events of our lives, then
it seems likely that our circumstances are causing disruptions in our lives
that are large enough for us to pause and ask, “Why am I here?” or “Is God
trying to tell me something?” While it is also true that our circumstances
could be markers or guiderails to help us make decisions that are more in line
with the will of God, the circumstances we experience will inevitably provide
God with more of an opportunity to show us His eternal perspective. While there
is a slight pierce in the truth of his words, Henry Blackaby’s voice brings
clarity to the matter, telling us that “when you face confusing circumstances,
don’t blame God. Don’t give up following Him. Go to God. Ask Him to reveal the
truth of your circumstances…When He becomes the Lord of your life, He alone has
the right to be: the Focus of your life; the Initiator in your life; the
Director of your life. That is what it means for Him to be Lord.”<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>Impressions of the Spirit</u></b><br />
Feeling an impression of the Spirit is hard to describe with words. Yet, once
we begin to recognize the voice of God, the movement of the Spirit can be
almost unmistakable. Similar to how a child is able to discern their parents’
voices amid the cacophony of noises on the busy playground, we also can develop
a keen ear to know when the Lord is reaching out to us. Rather than expecting a
constant stream of theophanies like the burning bush in Exodus 3, Willard explains
that such impressions of the Spirit are actually the most common path for
hearing from the Lord for those who are living in harmony with God. He
continues, mentioning that “as we become used to the idea that God is friendly
and helpful, that He desires to straighten, inform and correct for our good as
well as to comfort and encourage and that He really does love us, then we can
begin to pray heartily with Psalms 139:23” (<i>“Search me, God, and know my
heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way
in me, and lead me in the way everlasting”, NIV</i>). <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>Passages of the Bible</u></b><br />
Available on-demand for any person who has a Bible nearby, the Word of God
remains as an inerrant and consistent source of truth for the Christian faith.
Willard annotates that while our modern interpretations provide more scholarly
insight than centuries prior, we must refrain from depending upon the human
translation to be a replacement of the voice of God. Indeed, he says that “our
dependence as we read the Bible today must be on God, who now speaks to us <i>in
conjunction</i> with [the Bible] and with our best efforts to understand it”
(emphasis mine). Legendary evangelist Smith Wigglesworth shares in his book <i>Faith
that Prevails</i> a quote that I could not break apart or shorten, for it was
just too good and needed to be read in its entirety: “A man gave this
remarkable testimony concerning the Word: ‘Never compare this Book with other
books. Comparisons are dangerous. Never think or never say that this Book
contains the Word of God. It is the Word of God. It is supernatural in origin,
eternal in duration, inexpressible in value, infinite in scope, regenerative in
power, infallible in authority, universal in interest, personal in application,
inspired in totality. Read it through. Write it down. Pray it in. Work it out.
And then pass it on.’” <o:p></o:p></p><br /><p></p>Sean Buonohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15285394185026509474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248559049049073909.post-24477799096795388292021-05-06T21:08:00.000-07:002021-05-06T21:08:57.270-07:00Stop Overfunctioning In Your Youth Ministry<p></p><div style="text-align: center;"> <a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-86YEzhS7njo/YJS63zaYgmI/AAAAAAAABgg/Nh0i5S_n5Vc7ilvwC0EJqHZYW256-P49QCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/christian-erfurt-sxQz2VfoFBE-unsplash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-86YEzhS7njo/YJS63zaYgmI/AAAAAAAABgg/Nh0i5S_n5Vc7ilvwC0EJqHZYW256-P49QCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/christian-erfurt-sxQz2VfoFBE-unsplash.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">In her book <i>Leaders Who Last</i>,
Margaret Marcuson highlights the importance of balance within our lives and
within church ministry. Through her book, she recommends that we dodge the
tendency to become what she refers to as an “overfunctioner,” or in other words
an individual who does not regulate themselves and who takes on too much
responsibility for the various tasks at hand. Are we guilty of being
overfunctioners within our own youth ministries? One can’t help but wonder if this
may indeed be an important conversation to have when considering that the
average tenure of a youth pastor is commonly recognized to be between 2 and 4
years. Let us explore more of what Marcuson has to say on the topic to help us
achieve a healthy balance of work and life within our lives.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">What is Overfunctioning?<br />
</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Overfunctioning occurs when we have an unhealthy tendency to dive in and do the majority of the work ourselves in order to complete
the items that need to be addressed. Marcuson explains that the cause of this overfunctioning
oftentimes occurs when we lack the patience and maturity to wait. Perhaps
caused by a growing frustration that something isn’t moving as fast as we would
like it to progress within our ministry, it isn’t
long until the youth leaders, volunteers, and students become accustomed to the
youth pastor saying that they’ll take care of all of the odds and ends
associated with running the youth ministry. Finally, after a few short years of
intense and demanding youth services, we suddenly are surprised to find
ourselves in a state of burnout.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">What Causes Overfunctioning? </span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;"><br />
If we look to a church’s adult ministry as an example, the head pastor cannot
tackle every single need that may arise within a given service or throughout the administration of the church. Rather, trustworthy men and women of God are appointed over key
ministries such as worship, tech, prayer, etc. The good news is that youth
ministry can operate in a similar manner. However, if a model such as this is
not implemented within the church’s youth ministry and if an increasing number
of tasks are being left for the youth pastor to complete, then it may be an
indicator that the ministry’s vision is not clear or not clearly
communicated. It’s no secret that volunteers and students are eager to be a part
of a movement that positively impacts the kingdom of God. Yet outside of
Spirit-filled revival, it is typically only when the churchgoers and lay
leaders buy into a church’s vision that real movement and transformation both begin
to take place within the community. So instead of rolling our sleeves up and
oiling every squeaky wheel or setting up every single PowerPoint slide, it may
benefit us more in the long run to take a moment and recast the vision
of the youth ministry for those who have been placed in our care. Marcuson
agrees, highlighting that when we rush in to do the work that is necessary, we
are not only robbing ourselves of our own precious personal time, but we are
also robbing the opportunity for someone else to have the chance to serve the
Lord with the spiritual gift(s) that they possess.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Leadership Brings Emotional Freedom
and Flexibility</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;"><br />
One of the noteworthy quotes from Marcuson’s text is that “perseverance is one
of the chores of leadership.” Such wisdom reminds me of James 5:10-11, where
Scriptures say that “we call blessed those who showed endurance.” She explains
that leadership is moving from controlling others to managing ourselves; that
leadership is when we continue to define ourselves and our goals; that leadership
is when we balance individuality and togetherness; and that leadership is when
we are clear, calm, and confident in communicating the direction of the vision
that we are casting. However, even with these truths established, we still must
have maturity to understand that culture change is almost always evolutionary
instead of revolutionary. It is when we have this realization that we’ll be
able to achieve what Marcuson calls “emotional freedom and flexibility,”<span class="MsoFootnoteReference"> </span>where we are “less in a position of blaming
them and more in a position to appreciate what [volunteers] give [us] and their
strengths” (instead of focusing too much on feelings involved with running the
ministry). As we move from resentment of incomplete tasks to gratitude of what our
amazing volunteers are already providing, it can help us to become more
understanding of others’ spiritual journeys and how our ministry’s vision can fully employ
the giftings and strengths of those who the Lord has led to be a part of our
team.<o:p></o:p></span></p><br /><p></p>Sean Buonohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15285394185026509474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248559049049073909.post-39980756961906728642021-04-22T22:29:00.003-07:002021-04-23T09:48:41.225-07:00Breaking Through Spiritual Languish<p style="text-align: center;"> <a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_zl-gUzIsGg/YIJY0CL5QXI/AAAAAAAABgE/YSk8wWzesxgi9sNxerHEit4lvK4rz6O9gCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/arash-payam-ww9DO6PsTBE-unsplash.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_zl-gUzIsGg/YIJY0CL5QXI/AAAAAAAABgE/YSk8wWzesxgi9sNxerHEit4lvK4rz6O9gCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/arash-payam-ww9DO6PsTBE-unsplash.jpg" width="320" /></a></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal">Last month, the world recognized the 1-year anniversary of
the start of a global pandemic, where life as we all knew it suddenly came to a
screeching halt and our lives would be forever changed. Now after 13 months,
the initial shock of a changed lifestyle has faded, and a different feeling has
now begun to creep into our day-to-day lives: languishing. Organizational
psychologist and best-selling author Adam Grant <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/19/well/mind/covid-mental-health-languishing.html" target="_blank">recently wrote an article</a> for the New York Times that explores this feeling and what we can do about it. Today, we will review its findings and discuss how applicable this also is to believers
within the church.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><u><b>What is Languishing?<br /></b></u>To help us understand more about this feeling of “bleh” that we might
be experiencing, Grant explains that languishing is “a sense of stagnation and
emptiness,” where you’re not experiencing burnout or depression, but instead a
feeling that is “somewhat joyless and aimless.” He unpacks this further,
highlighting that “when you’re languishing, you might not notice the dulling of
delight or the dwindling of drive. You don’t catch yourself slipping slowly
into solitude; you’re indifferent to your indifference.” Our work days become
affected as our ability to focus slips; our desire to plan any travel with the
family fades as we wonder if any bookings or flights made will soon be
disrupted by the ebbs and flows of active Covid-19 cases; our friends who we often
kept in touch with begin to drift further away as the days melt together and we
find ourselves forgetting to call them once again. I was surprised by how much
of the article resonated with me as I began to take inventory of my own personal
outlook of the current season. And while this all could certainly be noticed within
my work and family life, I couldn’t help but also wonder as to how much this
was impacting my faith walk as well?</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>Working Towards Spiritual “Flow”</u></b><br />
To help answer the question of what we can do about this feeling of languish,
Grant proposes for us to try and work towards a state of “flow” within our
personal lives, a concept that he declares as “that elusive state of absorption
in a meaningful challenge or a momentary bond, where your sense of time, place
and self melts.” In the church, this means that we find an opportunity to
utilize our spiritual gifts. Grant adds, “Getting more done isn’t just good for
performance at work: We now know that the most important factor in daily joy
and motivation is a sense of progress.” This means that despite the heaviness or
the disinterest that we may be feeling, we step forward and sign up to serve at
that upcoming church event, regardless of the level of languish that we may be
currently slogging through. It means we sign up for a small group that commits
to meeting on a scheduled basis so that we can support one another and live
life together. Or perhaps it could mean that we commit to attending church
service more consistently and picking up our Bibles to read once again. Whatever
it might be, what is important to acknowledge is that these actions likely won’t
start with us wanting to do them; the devil won’t allow such things. After all,
he knows that once we start to make moves for the kingdom of God, it will
lessen his ability to use this feeling of languish to his advantage. To break
out of a state of spiritual languish, the <i>commitment </i>to engage must come first
before the <i>desire </i>to engage.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>No More Waiting</u></b><br />
While much of 2020 felt like a waiting game where we were supposed to ride out the storm until
things returned to normal, it is growing increasingly apparent for us to acknowledge that we will not return to the church of 2019. Is
this pessimistic to hold such a view? Perhaps. Yet the solidification of a new
world ahead is becoming more and more affirmed with each passing day. Similar
to how air travel was completely redefined after 9/11/2001, our society’s methods
of interacting with each other are also in the process of being redefined and forever
changed (whether we like it or not). And while we would not want to fault
anyone for their desire to continue waiting for a return to the good ol’ days
of 2019, the spiritual reality here is that such a stance could negatively
impact to the spiritual growth of those around us. Indeed, the devil absolutely
delights in keeping us in a Laodicean state of lukewarmness (Revelation
3:14-17). Breaking out of this state requires intentional effort that we will
need to be held accountable to.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">To help us progress, Grant encourages us to “try starting
with small wins.” Practicing this strategy through the lens of Christianity can
be encouraging. Rather than thinking that we can win the war against Satan through
our own efforts, we employ the power of the Holy Spirit and focus on winning
the skirmish that is front of us. We start with one battle. With
each victory notch that we can declare on our spiritual warfare belts, the
devil appears weaker and weaker as we look back and see his inability to win over
the long haul. This week, take inventory of your mental health. Ask for the
Holy Spirit to empower you to put something on your calendar that will move you
in the direction of a healthy state of spiritual flow. <i><o:p></o:p></i></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i>“We cannot return
to the past, but we can learn how to treasure relationships as ends rather than
means, and we can recapture a transcending biblical vision of commitment and
community that will make us more human and less controlled by our culture.” <br />
~ Kenneth Boa<o:p></o:p></i></p><br /><p></p>Sean Buonohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15285394185026509474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248559049049073909.post-48656008687156428282021-04-09T00:49:00.005-07:002021-04-09T09:25:05.843-07:00Small Group Prayers that Spark Inner Healing<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZLJ2pH3l57o/YHAC3KE4WyI/AAAAAAAABfk/r9dgdEBK5pk-xMKRQ20byFgOdOT7d9M8ACPcBGAYYCw/s2048/priscilla-du-preez-DAFh1p9huAE-unsplash.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZLJ2pH3l57o/YHAC3KE4WyI/AAAAAAAABfk/r9dgdEBK5pk-xMKRQ20byFgOdOT7d9M8ACPcBGAYYCw/s320/priscilla-du-preez-DAFh1p9huAE-unsplash.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p style="text-align: left;">The Word of God will forever remain as a testament to the
powerful ministry of Jesus Christ. While His divine role as Lord and Savior will
continue to impact this world until the earth passes on, His brief period of in-person
ministry also gives us an inside look to the divine nature of who the Son of God
is and how the Spirit can move within the physical realm. Through actions like teaching,
casting out demons, forgiving sins, and conducting miraculous healings, Jesus showed
us a tiny glimpse of what the kingdom of God can do when it intersects with our
world. Yet apart from His miracles, we understand that many
of Jesus’s actions were not conducted solely because of His divinity. After
all, many of the apostles and disciples went on to execute similar healings,
exorcisms, spirit-filled teachings, and other power encounters that contributed
toward the establishment of the early church. Rather, Dr. Terry Wardle
postulates in his book <i>Healing Care, Healing Prayer</i> that Jesus’s ability
to accomplish these moments of ministry was instead based upon the intimate
relationship that He had with the Holy Spirit.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>Our Role in Inner Healing Prayer</u></b><br />
This spiritual truth is something that we can be excited about as well. Indeed,
if the disciples were able to facilitate powerful moments such as these, then,
by extension, we too have the same potential when we make efforts to minister
alongside the Holy Spirit within our own respective ministries. One such ministry
opportunity that we might be able to take part in is what Dr. Wardle describes as
“inner healing prayer,” or where “a caregiver partners with the Holy Spirit and
humbly positions themselves to be an instrument of His powerful touch.” By
doing so, the caregiver is able to facilitate “an encounter with the Living
Christ, precisely where the broken have been severely wounded and deceived.” He
goes on to explain that “inner healing prayer is a ministry that brings a
broken person before the Healing Lord, where they can experience love,
acceptance and freedom. The caregiver has the privilege to serve as a bridge
that joins a ravaged heart with a Ravished Heart.” <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>Catered Ministry Through Groups</u></b><br />
By being in a small group, individuals can get to know one another over a
longer period of time and cater transformative prayer to each members’ specific
needs. Wardle agrees, explaining that inner healing prayer is best applied when
we can see and identify the interrelationships that are occurring within the
life of the hurting individual. Oftentimes such connections can be made in our
groups as we engage in the type of heartfelt conversation that builds one another up and encourages
one another to remain accountable. It is here why we had initially explored what
<a href="https://www.seanbuono.com/2021/03/the-healing-support-of-fellow-small.html" target="_blank">small group members</a> and <a href="https://www.seanbuono.com/2021/03/the-healing-impact-of-small-group.html" target="_blank">small group leaders</a> can do within the journey of inner
healing. When small group members and small group leaders first take the time
to exhibit a tangible Christ-like love and acceptance toward a fellow group
member in the physical realm, it can help to create a wider roadway through
which the Holy Spirit can transmit the same level of care within the spiritual realm
as well. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>Being Conduits for the Spirit</u></b><br />
Prayer in this type of group environment is not simply just a list of things
that are brought to God. Rather, the prayers offered within this setting can be similar to a Romans 8:26 “sigh too deep for words,” where those in the group who may have experienced inner healing in the past can take on the role of the "wounded healer" and intercede for those who are currently in need. Wardle describes this as the essence of inner healing prayer, where it is “a ministry of the Holy Spirit that moves through a Christian
caregiver and brings the Healing Presence of Jesus Christ into the place of
pain and brokenness within a wounded person.” Let us serve one another and be a
blessing by helping our fellow group members take one step further in the
journey of healing. Let us be instruments for the Lord and invite the Holy
Spirit into our group settings so that He is no longer impeded by any obstacles. Let us
partner with the Spirit by encountering Him within this powerful ministry of inner healing prayer.<o:p></o:p></p>Sean Buonohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15285394185026509474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248559049049073909.post-7206451725410236312021-03-26T00:17:00.003-07:002021-04-07T21:45:41.986-07:00The Healing Impact of Small Group Leaders<p></p><div style="text-align: center;"> <a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ifVHh_aPTC4/YF2IOiBiipI/AAAAAAAABfI/dz5lsH9PTPUeLtNNOtBAfydMUAw2xdlkQCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/nicola-fioravanti-MryBlxc2ocw-unsplash.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ifVHh_aPTC4/YF2IOiBiipI/AAAAAAAABfI/dz5lsH9PTPUeLtNNOtBAfydMUAw2xdlkQCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/nicola-fioravanti-MryBlxc2ocw-unsplash.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p></p><p>For anyone that’s been a part of a small group, we can all
relate to the anxious feelings of the first few nights. Right from the start of
the very first group meeting, we begin assessing the environment of our small
group as we gauge whether or not it’s a safe environment to be vulnerable
within. And since it may take a few meetings for the group to navigate through
the “forming” <a href="https://www.seanbuono.com/2019/04/the-stages-of-group-formation.html" target="_blank">stage of group formation</a>, it’s possible that group members may keep their hearts
under lock and key until after the “storming” stage passes. Yet despite this,
the small group leader can play a role in speeding up the group’s ability to be
comfortable with one another and to be more open to the stages of inner healing.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>Self-Care and Personal Development</u></b><br />
For the small group leaders who work full-time jobs, who are raising families, who
enjoy various hobbies, and who also decide to serve elsewhere within the church,
life can suddenly become very busy. Indeed, the more we fill our calendars, the
more likely we may find ourselves sacrificing our personal time with Jesus for
the next event or activity on the never-ending list of things to do. It is here
where Dr. Terry Wardle in his book <i>Healing Care, Healing Prayer</i> draws our attention, reminding us caregivers to not only
ensure that we remain tethered to the word of God, but to also stay connected
to other Christians who are committed to the ministry of the Holy Spirit (I would add that in this context, this would be a group of Christians outside of the small group that the individual leads). While
these two activities may be shrugged off as collateral damage under the
busyness of the daily grind, they are actually critical for the small group
leader. After all, if we do not spend time in the Scriptures, the world will
distract us from keeping the Lord’s teachings and commandments at the forefront
of our minds. And if we do not engage in community with the body of Christ, we may
find ourselves experiencing burnout as we neglect the relationships that can pour
life back into us and sharpen our hearts (Proverbs 27:17).<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>The Wounded Healer</u></b><br />
In her book <i>Leaders Who Last</i>, Margaret Marcuson says “we cannot lead
others further than we are willing to go ourselves. If we want people to go
deeper in the spiritual life, if we want them to grow up emotionally, if we
want them to be more authentic, we have to show the way. Leadership starts with
us.” Author and leadership expert John Maxwell defines this principle as the
“Law of the Lid,” where an organization’s reach and influence can't go beyond where the leader wants to go (or more likely, where the leader decides to stop). This concept can be
applied to small groups as well, where individuals may find it difficult to be
led to a place of inner healing if the leader has not first been there themselves.
Just as we see in 2 Corinthians 12:10, Wardle refers to this as the role of the
“wounded healer.” He elaborates, “Only in weakness can the strength of Christ
flow through a caregiver to the people who turn to him for help. The wounded
caregiver must be touched by the Wounded [Christ] to offer healing to the
wounded.” Wardle’s words here are encouraging, for it is when a small group leader
experiences inner healing first that they can then be a powerful conduit for
the comfort of God that then flows to the others who are placed in their care. By
offering one’s testimony of their own journey of inner healing, the small group
leader can effectively establish themselves as a “wounded healer.” By sharing their
heart, the degree of the leader’s own display of vulnerability can help encourage
the other group members to be vulnerable and courageous as well within future
gatherings.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>Discernment in Sharing</u></b><br />
But how much of our story do we leaders offer? If we air out too much of our
dirty laundry, does that cause us to lose credibility? While <a href="https://www.seanbuono.com/2019/04/the-power-of-vulnerability.html" target="_blank">this article from April 2019</a> may be of some assistance, it is still a tough
question to answer. Since every situation is different, it is here where the utilization
of a mentorship program at the church can help. One popular method of
organizing a mentorship program within the church’s small group ministry is
referred to as the Jethro model (Exodus 18), where a coach (who isn’t a small
group leader) is assigned to serve and be a guide for a collection of small
group leaders. If unsure as to if a certain testimony or story is safe to
share, running it upline to one’s coach or church staff member can help provide
the clarity or guidance that is needed on the matter. If it is an experience that highlights
victory in Christ, than it will likely be a positive story to share. Indeed, it
is through a celebration of finding new life in Christ where we can establish close
connections with one another and support each other through the seasons of life
where community and Jesus can impact us the most.</p><p></p>Sean Buonohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15285394185026509474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248559049049073909.post-53386954208396365222021-03-11T20:02:00.000-08:002021-03-11T20:02:54.313-08:00The Healing Support of Fellow Small Group Members<p></p><div style="text-align: center;"> <a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GqGbVeR2xcI/YEiT6slqopI/AAAAAAAABeg/tZAPgTRchgwe-dSfQFH3wmP_zHnOv3isgCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/tim-marshall-cAtzHUz7Z8g-unsplash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GqGbVeR2xcI/YEiT6slqopI/AAAAAAAABeg/tZAPgTRchgwe-dSfQFH3wmP_zHnOv3isgCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/tim-marshall-cAtzHUz7Z8g-unsplash.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal">During various moments within each of our lives, we are
confronted with events or circumstances that give us the opportunity to pursue inner
healing. Until we are called by the Lord and meet Jesus in heaven, we are
exposed to the inevitable pain and challenges of this world. While the hurt and
lies that we may have experienced can create
spiritual scars on our souls, we tend to find activities, habits, and behaviors
to cover up or ignore these scars throughout our adulthood. Yet due to the
pandemic, the lockdowns, and the impact on mental health that isolation has
made upon us, we have begun to recognize that the events surrounding this last
year have acted as a revealing agent, exposing the underlying spiritual
struggles that may have lay dormant until now. For
example, an individual struggling with self-value and performance addiction may
have been able satisfy that gap at the office or on the ballfield; or perhaps a person afflicted by a lack of love and acceptance within their lives may
have been able to find temporary solace within the dating scene. However, due
to such a drastic interruption to our normal schedules, hobbies, and outlets,
many of us were suddenly confronted with the turmoil of our spiritual wounds
that we were no longer able to ignore or cover up. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Perhaps this may be partially why the world is now experiencing
a <a href="https://mhanational.org/sites/default/files/Coronavirus%20Mental%20Health%20Presentation%207-1-2020.pdf" target="_blank">mental health crisis</a>, and perhaps this may also be why the pursuit of inner
healing has become a hot topic of ministry as of late. During our <a href="https://www.seanbuono.com/2021/02/inner-healing-within-small-groups.html" target="_blank">previous article</a>, we began our discussion on the concept of inner healing, as
introduced by Dr. Terry Wardle in his book <i>Healing Care, Healing Prayer</i>.
And while his book is certainly an excellent resource for any minister or caregiver that provides care at the individual level, what if we were to instead explore Dr. Wardle’s work through the lens of a church’s small group ministry?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>The Structures Inner Healing</u></b><br />Wardle explains in his book that in order to experience
inner healing from the wounds that are buried deep within our lives, we must
first identify the lies and distortions that the evil one has used to lead us
astray. But in order to identify these lies and distortions, we must first walk
through the emotional upheaval that comes from confronting the dysfunctional
behaviors that had caused the original disrupting life situation. For example,
let us propose a hypothetical situation where a man who is a part of a small
group shares that his wife has left him (the disrupting life situation). As the
group discusses the serious matter in depth, it is discovered that one of the
reasons that she had left him was due to the daily heated arguments that would
inevitably lead to him inflicting verbal abuse upon his wife (dysfunctional
behavior). From here, the man begins to repent in his heart and learn from his
fellow group members about the role that God called him to uphold as husband
and how such behavior is sinful (emotional upheaval). As the group explores the
matter further, the man explains that since the husband was supposed to be the
leader of the household, he always had assumed that there was no need for
compromise since he presumably had the right to call the shots within all areas of the
household (Lies and distortions). Finally, at the deepest moment in the
journey, the man discovers that the lies he has believed for so long may likely
be linked to the trauma he experienced as a child, witnessing his father severely
abusing his mother. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>The Group as a Partner, Not a Doctor</u></b><br />Within the context of a small group, one of the most crucial
elements for a person’s ability to open up to others in their journey of inner
healing is the group’s ability to offer a loving and trustworthy level of grace
and support. This hypothetical scenario would not take place without prayer or without the Holy Spirit's involvement, and it would almost certainly not happen within
the length of one small group meeting. In fact, there’s no guarantee that all
of the aforementioned stages could be completed within the environment of the
small group. Yet what is important to note is that the higher the quality of
love and support that the group can offer to the hurting individual, the better the
chances are for the group to be able to walk alongside the person throughout
the journey of inner healing.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>The Need to Be Understanding</u></b><br />Still, we must remain practical. Although it would be ideal
to believe that all of these structures of inner healing would go as swimmingly as this pretend
scenario, we also must be comfortable with the pace at which the individual
actually responds to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. Perhaps the man might only offer the surface level of details about his wife leaving him before making
the decision to seek professional care. Or perhaps the group is able to help
him walk through some of the emotional
upheaval involved with repentance before he ends up seeking additional care from their pastor or a counselor. Regardless,
what is important to stress here is a reiteration of what was mentioned in the
previous article: that small groups are not meant to be a replacement for
counseling, and nor could it be promised that small groups can be as effective
as or more effective than professional care. Instead, what the group members
can strive to do is to be a supportive partner for the individual who is pursuing the journey
of inner healing. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Indeed, deep wounds take time to unravel, and an individual
that traverses through the experience of inner healing often finds that the
complexities of each of these steps are layered upon one another and that they must
be peeled back slowly in order to identify the next steps that lay ahead. Some
individuals are more introspective in their style when reflecting upon serious
matters of the heart, while others need to process their thoughts through the
interaction with others. Nevertheless, either style requires the small group to submerge their meetings in submissive prayer while they meet the
individual in their current position of the inner healing journey, all the while they continue to support the person with a <i>phileo</i>-like love
that upholds and exemplifies friendship, companionship, and openness. <o:p></o:p></p><br /><p></p>Sean Buonohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15285394185026509474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248559049049073909.post-52240529635244818962021-02-26T00:35:00.005-08:002021-02-26T00:35:54.012-08:00Inner Healing Within Small Groups<p style="text-align: center;"> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-McYkQ2gz-kY/YDil5dfU1tI/AAAAAAAABeQ/fAq0I7GT4toM0cy4im_GjUFF0HXoZ8XTwCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/mohamed-nohassi-odxB5oIG_iA-unsplash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-McYkQ2gz-kY/YDil5dfU1tI/AAAAAAAABeQ/fAq0I7GT4toM0cy4im_GjUFF0HXoZ8XTwCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/mohamed-nohassi-odxB5oIG_iA-unsplash.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal">In our post-Covid environment, small groups are becoming one
of the best primary points of entry for new attendees within our churches. Even
if our social circles may have shrunk within the workforce or within our
social engagements, our hunger for relationships still has not dissipated.
Theologically, we understand this because we are made in the image of a God who
exhibits perfect relationship within the Trinity. But how does this spiritual
truth impact our ability to grow inward within our small group ministries, and
how might this contribute to our small groups’ ability to minister to the
deepest spiritual needs of our fellow group members?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In this next series of posts, we will unpack and explore how
small groups are able to minister at some of the most profound levels to heal
the soul. While some of our wounds may be buried deep or are carefully tucked
away to help us function as close to normal as possible during the
day-to-day, there are times when the presence of the Holy Spirit can fall upon
a small group and meet one or more individuals in a powerful way that brings a
wound or a lie to the light. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Yet for our purposes here, we will tread carefully. Our conversation on inner healing will not be meant for scenarios or seasons of
life that are devastatingly urgent. Indeed, small groups can never and should
never be considered a replacement for professional counseling. Nevertheless, there
are moments when the Lord chooses to use a small group to either initiate a
journey of inner healing or to walk alongside someone and be a partner for
them in the journey of inner healing (It will be these scenarios in
particular that this new series will focus on). <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In his book <i>Healing Care, Healing Prayer</i>, Dr. Terry
Wardle’s exploration of inner healing prayer provides an in-depth look of how it allows us to not only identify
the wounds of this world but also replace their dominion over us with the
affirmation of God’s love. Writing from the personal experience
of his own “dark night of the soul,” his multiple books over the years have empowered
both the caregiver and the individual who is receiving care throughout the inner
healing process. While Dr. Wardle’s book mainly focuses on the model and structure
of inner healing between a caregiver and a single person who is receiving the
care, here we will instead reflect upon the core principles of his text through
the lens of a small group ministry. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Throughout this new series, we will discuss topics such as how
group members can help to contribute toward inner healing, what the group
leader’s role is within such a process, and how prayer can be utilized to
engage the Holy Spirit within the group setting. Since the journey ahead requires
great care and respect, it bears repeating that small groups are
not meant to replace counseling (nor could it be promised that small groups are
as effective as or more effective than professional care). Nevertheless, I have
witnessed the impact that the presence of the Holy Spirit can make within the
small group setting and it is very possible that the Lord may soon choose one of our upcoming small
group meetings to stir the hearts of one or more of our group members. To help us
prepare for such an event, let us prayerfully explore and meditate upon what we
group leaders can do to help our group members meet the person of Jesus Christ
in a powerful and transforming way.<o:p></o:p></p><br /><p></p>Sean Buonohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15285394185026509474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248559049049073909.post-19055038389382466562021-02-11T23:48:00.005-08:002021-02-12T09:13:12.363-08:00Spiritual Plumbing of the Heart<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3SLIs6tfmUk/YCYxoRQAyWI/AAAAAAAABdM/6hZkOTzRhYIIWiGu3LFJmNSnXnrGb2ngQCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/samuel-sianipar-scUBcasSvbE-unsplash.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3SLIs6tfmUk/YCYxoRQAyWI/AAAAAAAABdM/6hZkOTzRhYIIWiGu3LFJmNSnXnrGb2ngQCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/samuel-sianipar-scUBcasSvbE-unsplash.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p><u><b><br />A Home of Surprises<br /></b></u>Before my wife and I were handed the keys to our new home in 2013, we already
knew that we had signed up for a home with some home improvement surprises. One
surprise in particular was a severe issue with the plumbing. During the
inspection phase it was realized that the kitchen stack was not properly
draining to the pipe that led to the city’s sewers (easily deduced by looking
down the access of the city-bound pipe while running the water upstairs). What
surprised us even more was that the blockage was so bad that the kitchen sink would
begin to fill up as we continued to run the kitchen tap. One experienced plumber
diagnosed the problem, explaining that the stretch of underground pipe between
the kitchen stack and the rest of the house’s plumbing had likely rotted, and that
the pipe was clogged up with food, grease, earth, or a combination of all of
the above. Basically, every time we ran the kitchen faucet, the water went
straight into the ground, underneath our house.</p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">After deciding to go through with closing on the house, we
quickly scheduled a professional plumbing company to come in and carve into our
basement floor. Using jackhammers and shovels, they broke ground and began to
dig up the shockingly degraded pipe. The expert that quoted the job was 100%
correct. Apparently, the home’s previous owners made it a habit of pouring
grease down the drain. Over the years, the iron piping rotted away, causing a
complete breakdown in the underground plumbing. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>Spiritual Plumbing</u></b><br />
Plumbing in our homes is not unlike the plumbing that we maintain in our
spiritual lives as we communicate with God. Last week, we discussed how we are
called <a href="https://www.seanbuono.com/2021/01/to-be-filled-with-spirit.html">to
be filled with the Spirit</a> on an ongoing basis. This type of lifestyle
requires us to be diligent with the plumbing of our hearts. In our homes, blockages
or even damage can occur to the plumbing of the house if we dispose of grease
down the kitchen sink or refuse to utilize a garbage disposal. Likewise,
continuously absorbing a diet of worldly entertainment and habitually acting
upon sinful temptations can cause severe disruption in our spiritual lives (aka
blockages of the Spirit). <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">To help clear the spiritual blockages in our lives and open
up the lines of communication with the Holy Spirit, fasting can be a powerful
spiritual discipline that can help us recalibrate on what the Lord is calling
us to pursue within our current season. By abstaining from food for a short
season, we focus more on God and spend more time with Him through our season of
fasting. More than likely, the boost in spiritual clarity that we gain during
our fast will help us learn to be less resistant to the nudges of the Holy
Spirit throughout the day. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>Group Fasting</u></b><br />
If your group is interested to try something new during its spiritual journey
this year, try fasting for the 24 hours before the group meets. Encourage one
another that day through a group-text and fall in prayer to support and uplift everyone
as you seek the Lord throughout the day. After trying this for a few weeks, see
if the group might like to try a longer span of time once or twice within the
next month or two. Prayerfully consider the frequency of fasting, for the
discipline could quickly devolve into legalism if the activity itself becomes
more important than the pursuit of God. Every individual and group is
different, and healthy reflection can assist the group in determining what fits
best for everyone involved.<o:p></o:p></p><br /><p></p>Sean Buonohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15285394185026509474noreply@blogger.com0